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These sparkly haired Guatemalan biatches are gunna take on my worries for a little while which is awesome cause I need some fucking sleep.

by Kelley

in a mind is a terrible thing to waste

I am a worrier.

World class, if it could possibly remotely happen, I will take that shit and run with it till it is catastrophic proportions.

And given my life, you can only imagine how bad shit can get in my head.

I know.  I should start writing movie scripts with George RR Martin.

Red Wedding?  Bitch, please.

Right now things are a tad stressful so OBVIOUSLY I am awake all night stressing the fuck out trying to anticipate every fucking scenario and come up with a workable solution before it even happens.

Most of this is happening between the hours of 3 and 6am.

I am a JOY to be around right now as you can imagine.

So I bought these biatches:

worry dolls

worry dolls sparkly

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

Apparently you tell these sparkly haired beauties all your troubles and then chuck them under your pillow and they do the worrying for you.  And you sleep all fucking night and dream of eating all the things and sexy times.

Right now I will try anything.

Especially if it involves me not having to leave the house or engage with people.

(these biatches don’t have mouths = don’t talk back.  Perfect)

What calms you down?  Got any tips for me?

 

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 river March 20, 2016 at 8:59 pm

Tips? I don’t have even half the worries you do, so maybe my tips wouldn’t help. Different worries have different solutions. If the day is nice and I have plenty of time, I’ll catch a bus out to the beach and walk along the sand, in the water’s edge. Other methods involve loud music until I calm enough to turn it down, or immersing myself in my current favourite TV series until I forget what was worrying about.
Most of the time, I don’t have things to worry about and I’m not a worrier anyway. I’ll think, “oh heck, what now?” then push it aside and wait and see, often finding out I didn’t need to worry, and since I didn’t I’m fine.

Reply

2 Ren March 21, 2016 at 8:29 am

Alcohol. *nods* Or I pull out colouring books (which I know you don’t like). Or find a computer game and just forget about the real world for a while.

But mostly alcohol.

Reply

3 Char March 21, 2016 at 8:38 am

Valium.

But I don’t need to do the hard drugs any more. I decided to do something about my amazing ability to invent apocalyptic scenarios out of thin air and went to see a psychologist. I don’t even get nervous before races any more. The only downside is that I don’t get the regular weightloss bonus that came with being anxious.

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4 Me March 21, 2016 at 10:34 am

Progesterone has helped me with my anxiety but I understand that it’s for everyone – and maybe not for you. I’ve heard of these dolls – hope they work. Someone told me that this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_fcF2y_p_A&app=desktop helped them sleep – I haven’t tried it so I can’t vouch for how good (or bad) it is but may be worth a try if you are battling. I have tried just putting on a podcast and that has helped me fall asleep.
OR https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHiKxytbCWk ASMR towel folding – you may need to look at a couple to find someone whose voice you like.
I hope you find something that works for you. Al is away again so at least I don’t need to put up with his snoring keeping me awake !!!!
Lotsa hugs xox

Reply

5 JahTeh March 21, 2016 at 1:07 pm

Blood glucose fasting test sends the sugar so way up. Stay up late to have something to eat to give me more time in the morning but then I stay awake til dawn in case I sleep in. Pee in giant bottle to pour into teensy bottles they hand out. Remember not to eat and because I don’t drive, hope the taxi arrives before the 8 hours is up. Worry that I’m dizzy, worry she won’t find a decent vein, worry she’ll say there’s not enough in the bottle. And the doc wonders why I’m across the road stuffing myself with ice coffee and giant cake afterwards. That’s 24 hours worrying for 5 minutes. With your worries I would not come out of the wardrobe.

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6 Whiplashlady March 21, 2016 at 2:01 pm

I go to regular therapy, and I could still represent Oz in the Worrying Olympics! to help me chillax, I like to binge watch fab tv series, or swim a few lengths at the local Olympic pool (there seems to be an Olympic theme developing here…) or have a whisky, or wine. Or dance like a mad woman to loud funky music until I’m exhausted or the neighbours complain, whichever comes first. Good old chamomile tea with a little honey helps me relax at the end of the day. When all this fails, a joint will save the day. Just saying.

Reply

7 Krissa March 22, 2016 at 3:13 pm

Unfortunately only two of them are female…. Males- any of them- don’t know how to worry. There are NO male professional worriers.

Reply

8 Pinky Poinker March 22, 2016 at 5:06 pm

I hate waking up at 3 or 4 am and knowing I won’t get back to sleep until 2 minutes before the alarm. Sometimes I try to force thoughts from my mind and just concentrate on listening to the sounds of the night. It’s boring but it stops me thinking about stuff. Or try over the counter sleep aids (not herbal).

Reply

9 Tsitra March 22, 2016 at 5:26 pm

I’m a worrier too, I recently started watching the real housewives of New Jersey that show makes me wonder how people can live with so much drama in their lives. Listening to music helps me or talking to someone, Good Luck Kelley hope you find something that helps!

Reply

10 Lady Jewels Diva March 23, 2016 at 2:34 pm

I am way too far from being calm and have no idea how to do it myself.

I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since last winter, with my mother waking me during the night needing help to get back into bed. As her carer, it’s become too stressful for me, and since December she’s been in and out of hospital and chronically ill. So I average 4-5 hours a night, but after way too many nights of lack of sleep it gets too much and now I’m 3.5 months behind my work schedule and I’m worrying about how I’ll get it all done. Plus I really shouldn’t be driving when I’m exhausted as I forget way too many things.

Somehow I don’t think I’ll be able to have a normal stress free life until mum is in a home being looked after by professionals, of which I am not. Meanwhile I go without all things adult, partner, kids, friends, life, home etc, etc, etc. So I’m stressed and worried and running out of time to have any kind of life.

Looks like life is sucking shit balls of depression for a lot of us right now.

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11 Annya March 24, 2016 at 9:56 pm

I have one of these and he’s fabulous and it seems to work. 🙂

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