MPS is on earlies this week so left at the crack of dawn.
Surprisingly, Boo was up early too so I took the opportunity for a bit of slave labour and got him to pick out his favourite shirts so I could pack his bag today for school camp TOMORROW! While I spent another five minutes savouring my latte in bed.
As an aside: major fucking drama ‘The Rash” ended up needing a major course of steriods and we won’t be seeing that other fucking doctor ever again OMG.
“MUM THERE IS A SPIDER IN THE LOUNGE!”
All 6ft5 130kilos of quivering mess of a child comes racing in my room
”YOU HAVE TO SPRAY IT!”
I am motherfucking terrified of spiders. Like the head arachnophobia society. Just typing the word makes me feel sick.
I accidentally touched one once and INVOLUNTARILY VOMITED ON IT and the fucker died from suffocation.
But I will do anything for this kid.
So I went in the lounge room, and it was gone.
Boo was dancing around squealing in terror. His head literally just missing the roof.
All the commotion must have brought the massive fucker out cause there it was… Behind the tv…
I SPRAYED AND SPRAYED.
BOO SCREAMED AND SCREAMED.
IT CAME RUNNING AT ME.
BOO RAN DOWN THE HALLWAY.
It started to turn white from all the spray and then ran behind the TV and I couldn’t see him any more.
“Is it dead?”
“I hope so buddy”
“You we very brave”
“Thanks mate, so silly though… I know they won’t hurt me. They just really scare me”
And then I burst into tears and my Man Mountain gave me a hug and patted my back and it was lovely.
A few minutes later, as he was playing on his computer and I was in the laundry putting on a load of washing he called out ‘Happy International Women’s Day!’
Yeah, thanks. I am the badassedest of all the womens.
(I am still not going back in there… This post is written from my iPad in the bedroom with a can of insect spray beside me)