I am sitting here in bed and the house is silent.
It is raining and dark and quiet.
Quiet.
The white noise that is usually turned up to eleven two rooms down is silent, because the boy that needs it is not here.
Boo is at camp.
For 4 days.
Three nights.
The longest time away from home ever.
My heart has taken permanent residence in my mouth.
(Hell, the fucker has been bouncing around the room for the last month while I have been freaking out about my dad so at least I know where it is now)
MPS tells me I can go back to sleep because I have nowhere to be – little sleep last night worrying about Boo being able to sleep, and text messages from an excited Maddie holidaying in the US.
Nowhere to be…
For the first time I can ever think of.
No one to pick up.
No one to care for.
No one but me.
I can do what ever the fuck I like and not have to worry about having to be there for someone else.
I dunno if I like that.
Go figure.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! That’s such a big thing. You’ll just start to get used to it and he’ll be back.
you are probably right! I am just thinking I can walk around the house bra-less without getting yelled at. Hmmm… that is a bit of a bonus.
I just wish I had a way of logging in to watch him just to check he is OK. Helicopter mum, much?
Enjoy it Kelley. Let the twins swing free!
Free. Unfamiliar. Maybe eat?
He is fine! You are fine! Forget no bra, walk around with nothing on if that’s what floats your boat! MPS will like it, no doubt!
When my kids are gone and I am alone I listen to music really, really loudly.
Yep. My oldest is completely moved out, my youngest has a full time job, the Mister is away at his job. I’m alone for about 8-9 hours a day, five days a week. I have no idea what to do.
Try to enjoy your downtime. Maybe dance around the house, kick Karl’s arse, and eat salty fries.
Fling that bra. Hell, make a slingshot and fire them all across the house.
Sounds like fun.
Try and enjoy it Kelley Xx
Give it time, you’ll like it. Heck, you’ll LOVE it, as soon as you get used to it, which might take a while.
I’m so excited for you all that he actually made it to camp this time. Huzzah!
I wish I could walk around braless, I’m just a bit big.
Not helicopter, just nervous.
Enjoy!
It’s a little bit freaky to have all the constraints removed. After so long it’s really hard to know what to do with yourself. But it gets easier with practice. Try to enjoy.
Ah, that breath of “freedom”, strange and bewildering, isn’t it ?~! Hard to imagine what you will do with these next few days; hope they’re good for you.
Sounds like hash brown drive throughs whenever, Netflix on repeat for everything and some spa time!
They’ll both be totally fine. Enjoy hun. oxoox