Thank fuck I didn’t have to cater a party with people that expected me to do things like brush my hair or wear shoes this year biatches, cause I woulda lost my damn mind.
Just scraped in birthday week this year my friends.
As always, birthday week starts with mah Daddy’s birthday and this year he got himself some cashola to go towards his new train (he is about to reignite his old hobby of model trains! HUZZAH!) and I found DOUBLE DIPPED CHERRY RIPES in Woolies and nearly slipped in my own drool when I saw them… Pity I can’t eat them due to their *rolls eyes* fibre content omg, but my Daddy loves them more than anything so I made him a bouquet of 24 long stem fuckers.
Unfortunately I was really rather poorly on the day so he was happy with a cobbled together birthday table, takeaway Chinese food (not for me, I got to watch) and a Vienetta icecream ‘birthday cake’ and then a phone call from Maddie in Sydney, Skype call from The Golden Child and his Golden Spawn and then Too’s childhood bestie turned up with his brand new baby for us to spend a few hours breathing in that magnificent brand new baby smell.
Next up was Maddies birthday, but alas the bitch is 800k’s away so I had to make do with sending her a box full of party stuff to make her own birthday table and an hour long facetime call. And here it is in pictures from her Twitter account…
Originally I wanted to send her a huge box of helium balloons so she would open it and they would fly out. After spending almost 2 days organising it, it turns out you are not allowed to send helium balloons in the post. Fuck it.
Motherfucking Princess. Just like her mother.
Probably half of our text message exchanges end up on her twitter… I have no damn privacy. And people go on about KIDS privacy????? MY GOD! *rolls eyes*
Next day was Boo’s birthday. Boo turned SEVEN-MOTHERFUCKING-TEEN. Also nine foot tall. I don’t know how either of those things happened. We woke him up at 6am and gave him his Les Paul guitar that he has been texting us about several times a day for weeks but wouldn’t let us actually TELL him that we bought him, cause he wanted it to be a surprise, but he wanted to know if we remembered… OMG *head explodes* and then promptly told us the next guitar that he wants.
We thought he would have wanted to play it for a while, but he just grunted a bit and then went back to bed, mumbling something about waking him at the proper wake up time.
He went to school where his friends bought him a cake, and his aide brought in cupcakes and he had his first ever lunch order (egg and bacon roll which he ended up getting egg all over himself) and home for pizza and the same chocolate mud cake from the Cheesecake Shop that we have had for the last 3 birthdays because I suck at life now. But YAY BIRTHDAY TABLE!
Apparently the cake serves 24, everyone had a small slice and then it was put in the fridge. It lasted a couple of days of Boo sneaking it for breakfast and midnight jam session snack and I can tell you it is a fucker to get off the white tiles in the hallway on the way to his damn bedroom.
And there we have it, MB2 birthday week over for another year and I feel like I have been hit by a truck and I didn’t even throw ONE mega party, let alone 2 in one day like I used to do.
Damn, I used to be so awesome. Fuckers should appreciate.
(for those of you new here, check out the usual shenanigans here, here and basically any year end of October/Start of November and also Too’s birthday in September. I was a birthday MACHINE. Which reminds me, I still need to blog the Pokemon 21st from last year… you guys want that shizzle or no?)
Now I am just ITCHING to get the Christmas trees up…