Big week was big.
And a hell of a lot of nothing.
Let me explain.
I totally aced my internal photoshoot. I am pretty sure that I possess the prettiest insides imaginable and Gastroenterology Vogue will be calling any day now to sign me up.
But that also means that I don’t have an ulcer like we all decided and I will need those Vogue cheques to come streaming in to pay for the myriad of tests to find out what the fucking hell is going on, cause I am pretty sure there is no club where guys make it rain for a fucking sexy looking duodenum.
But there could be on the internet. Rule 34 and all that.
So basically I am no better off than I was before the fucking endoscope…
It hurts to eat, so I eat fuck all. I go back to see the gastro doc in MAY, after I have had a billion dollars worth of tests. So I went fuckitall and I am drinking coffee again.
Sweet sweet nectar of the gods.
And last night I had chicken nuggets even though I spent the entire night staring at the ceiling contemplating ripping out my insides with the smashed globe from the bedside lamp it was totally fucking worth it.
I have precisely enough energy to go to work to earn enough money to live and move from couch to bed and bed to bathroom and that is about it.
So I am a human(ish) for around 3.4 days per week. I suspect MPS is investigating how much it costs to file for divorce (you can’t afford it, buddy… you are stuck with me).
OTHER NEWS! Easter Bunny came to visit and so did Maddie and The American* and we pretty much just spent the whole time lazing around having Easter lunch, eating chocolate** until it was time for her to leave and I miss her already.
Our new bed finally came after 8 weeks of waiting, and while we are a bit fucking pissed off at the shoddy way the bedhead it supposed to be connected to the base (for $1300 I am not impressed) MPS and I will work something out to secure it because it is what we wanted. Seriously, one day something is going to go our way… *rolls eyes*
I will post pics when I actually get out of it.
Today is not one of those 3.4 days.
Thankfully it came in time for us to set up our old bed for Maddie and The American in The Visitors Room™ (as named by Boo) and also thankfully MPS’s radiator died just as MPS pulled into the driveway with the new mattress for said bed and ALSO thankfully the mattress was on sale because Centrelink are now withholding my Carers payment because they have fucked up Boo’s disability payment.
But the money we are saving on food more than covers it so motherfucking YAYS ALL ROUND!
Oh those silver linings… they dress up the shit so nicely. Pity they don’t cover the smell.
*I haven’t asked if I can use his name here and TheDingoThatStoleMyBaby is getting old.
** obviously I just was a spectator but I have this baby for when I am better. A whole motherfucking kilo and I am not sharing.