He has been so nervous all holidays.
Last year was not a good one.
The ticks have been more pronounced over the last few days, the flapping more intense.
And instead of laughing when I woke him with the usual call of ‘FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!’ from Finding Nemo, he sat bolt upright in bed, wide eyed.
Not a good start for a last first day.
I just realised now that he didn’t eat breakfast.
I barely choked down my coffee.
But we were out the door early, at the office door early, because we had not been given the proper preparations for this year – whether by design or no I cannot say but we must leave last year in the past and move forward – and didn’t know where to go.
He paced for a while and then decided he knew where to go.
I pulled the Vice Principal aside for a little chat to confirm a few things.
We are on the same page.
I think we always were. Even before I burst into tears.
I drove to work confident that his last first day, his first day of Senior School would be a good one.
When I picked him up he looked really tired, he didn’t say much and came home and has gone straight to bed without eating anything.
God I hope I am doing the right thing.
P.S. When I got to work I got an email from the mainstream school saying that his new aide is on Long Service Leave… what the actual FUCK?
I took a big breath and a nice rage walk outside. Looks like his next first day – Monday – is going to be a motherfucker.