Ever since Stacey moved to Melbourne she has been playing with my emotions and promising to come and visit me here in BumFuck Nowhere.
And shit keeps happening, and LIFE keeps happening, and fucking JOBS keep happening, and it just never actually HAPPENED until we were all ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY OMG and she was all set to come and visit on the only day in the entire holidays that I had free.
And then the bitch went and bailed on me.
So. No fucking banana bread for you STACEY. I was going to bake for you and everything.
But you can have some, my awesome peeps. If you get off your arses and cook it. And smugly think of Stacey not being able to eat it either.
Cause she is a mole who breaks promises.
And blogger hearts.
Here is the awesomest recipe that you will ever know.
Banana Bread that bitches who don’t visit can’t eat.
1 and 3/4 cups self raising flour
1/4 cup plain flour
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2/3 cup tightly packed brown sugar
2 big handfuls of sultanas
(you can add some walnuts too if you like. YUM)
1/2 cup milk
50 grams melted butter (cooled to roomish temp)
3 over ripe bananas mashed roughly cause I like it chunky
Grab yourself a bread tin and grease and line like so.
Leave bits hanging out like that so it is easy to just lift the loaf out when it is ready. HUZZAH!
Mix dry ingredients together, I just do it with a fork. You can be all fancy and shit and sift it, but I never have so I can’t tell you if it makes any difference.
Add the sultanas and mix till they are covered in flour and separated. Apparently it stops them sinking in the batter or something… SCIENCE! Or I could be making shit up. It has been a long day.
Also, make sure that you spell the word separated properly. Two a’s and two e’s. Spelling is important. Even when Stacey stood me up and I am like TOTALLY sad and stuff.
Make a well in the centre…
Mix the banana with all the wet shit and dump it in the middle of the dry and then mix it all up. Don’t be too precious. Banana bread is a cool motherfucker, it ain’t no delicate flower like a stupid ginger sponge. It can handle a little under mixing.
Dump in that greased and lined bread tin and bake at 180 for 45 mins or so or until a skewer comes out clean.
Leave in the tin for 5 minutes and then turn out on to a cooling rack while you make the bitch a fucking AWESOME Vietnamese latte. In the glasses that your husband had to go out and buy special because you broke the second last one in a freak vase washing accident and texted him all OMG STACEY IS COMING TOMORROW AND WHAT WILL I SERVE THE VIETNAMESE LATTES IN? THEY MUST BE IN MATCHING GLASSES THIS WILL NOT DO!!!!
NO WAIT, bitch didn’t turn up so you are not going to make her one.
Sucks to be Veggie Mama, doesn’t it.
More banana bread for me.
That is if I can stop the smell wafting under Boo’s door…
Do you let random vegetarian bloggers visit you at home?
Me neither, apparently!