the signs are always there.
the sudden weight gain (usually only 1-2 kilos but sometimes as much as 5 but NO FUCKING excuse for the fucker who asked me on Monday if our team morning tea was to celebrate my pregnancy. May your septum become deviated my friend and you need the surgery from hell, THRICE!)
the temperature spike which I am all ‘damn, did someone set fire to my arse?’
Every. Damn. Month. since I was 14 and yet Every. Damn. Month since I was 14 I will go to the loo and be all ‘oh… well, shit.’
Emergency trip to the supermarket for essentials.
The essentials change every month but MPS should know them by heart by reading my motherfucking MIND. WHY WERE WE OUT OF MALTESERS?!
Are you/were you always prepared or just as gobsmacked as me every fucking time?
P.S. The gift wrapped ones in the box taste better, don’t you agree?
P.P.S. No brand affiliation for the feminine hygiene products, just my local Woolies are being dicks ATM and put all of the tampons on the bottom shelf and these were the only ones I could reach. Cause of pain. Fuckers.