Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with me.
I have been a bit off since seeing the head shrinker a few weeks back.
Seems he cracked open the door to my crazy, letting it seep out all over the floor making a mess and then he fucked off to Europe for a month, leaving me holding the mop.
And I have never been good at mopping, preferring to shut the door behind me and pretend it never happened.
Apparently that isn’t healthy and can lead to shit like heart disease and strokes and such.
Heh.
So I have been doing the motions of life and trying to not cry think too much, going out to brunch (above), visiting Ally and Maddie and wandering around their fab new suburb, and cleaning shit that probably doesn’t need cleaning and ignoring the shit that I should be doing.
Totally healthy.
In other healthy news I am desperately trying to hit the 10,000 steps a day goal and failing miserably.
Who the fuck does 10,000 steps in a normal day?
I have a theory that it is like the whole ‘8 glasses a day of water’ and ‘5 serves of veggies a day’ thing where you don’t actually NEED that much to live and be healthy but people are lazy fuckers so they double what we need to eat to compensate for it.
Kinda like how people tell MPS to be somewhere half an hour BEFORE he is needed cause he is a chronically late bastard. And likes to make an entrance.
Fucking Diva.
Do you do 10,000 steps a day? HOW??!?!?!
Are you chronically late? Fucking Diva.
Would you like my left over bacon? Lets do brunch!
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
You left it behind because it wasn’t crispy enough. OBVIOUSLY.
xox
Aussies tend to prefer our bacon flaccid.
😉
Flaccid bacon = ew.
I like my eggs runny and my bacon like bacon flavoured cardboard.
Speak for yourself sunshine, crispy is best? 🙂
Definitely agree – flaccid bacon – gross! Crispy, awesome! I might have to cook some tomorrow morning despite not having any eggs.. shoot, if we’re talking about the whole 10, 000 steps thing maybe I should walk to the shops to GET some eggs before cooking the bacon!
Great post.. hope you can bash the head shrinker over the head with the mop when he gets back – he could at least have TAKEN you to Europe WITH him – ha!
Robyn
Every time I go to a restaurant the bacon is flaccid.
I may have to have words…
Miss Maudy for the win! Eggs runny (yolks only please, whites should be firm) and dear god no flaccid bacon!
oh the egg yolks HAVE to be runny! All the better to mop up with the toast!
pop it in the post
I lurve bacon but maybe a bit crunchier. I have a Fit Bit to get me motivated to do 10,000 steps a day. I have had it for 2 months and I have made it once. Sigh.
Yeah, I have had my fit bit since March and got there twice.
Aiming for 7,000 seems more realistic to me.
10,000 steps a day? I’ll start counting tomorrow, but i seriously doubt it. More like 10,000 a month. I probably did 10,000 a day when I was working full time in the factory, because I was walking to and from work each day as well as walking at work. Those were the days! I weighed only 55kg then.
Am I chronically late? No. I prefer to be early.
Bacon? No thanks, I haven’t eaten bacon in years. I find it’s way too salty these days.
try putting maple syrup on your bacon. It will change your life.
Trust me.
If a person drank 8 glasses of water a day all they would do is drink water and pee. Its unproductive.
exactly! And what about the fluid in food?
Lets do brunch at pancake parlour and dessert at lord of the fries.
And only walk necessary steps to get between them.
OMG YES YES YES!
I do 10,000 most days, but I don’t drive and the buses here are the work of whoever invented crocs so I have no choice but to walk everywhere. And at work my office is on the third floor and the lab I mainly work in is on the ground so if I don’t take the lift that helps to boost them. But if I drank 8 glasses of water a day I’d only take the steps to the bathroom because that’s where I’d be sat all day!
Just like when I joined that stupid 12 week body transformation that everyone was raving about (cos I am a joiner) and you have to burn 500 calories every day, but 1000 on Saturdays.
Do you know how long I would have to walk on a treadmill to burn 1000 calories?? No. Me either because I never did it, I didn’t even make it to 500 for one single day of the three months – but I still lost shit loads of weight.
I heard such terrible things about that program. Mainly the message boards where people were competing with each other and eating less and less and exercising more.
You should try the fit bit (I really need to do a foul mouthed tutorial) it tells you how many calories you have burned just by living.
Haha, see, I am one of those people who regularly drinks 8 cups of water a day. Once your body gets used to it, you don’t pee too much. I don’t drink coffee, I have a couple of cups of tea a day, but I have the water on my desk all day, sipping away at it 🙂
Vege’s I don’t think anyone can eat that much fruit & veg without juicing 🙂
Downright impossible to do that many steps a day though. Especially doing a desk job.
It was 50 steps for me to get to the photocopier. And I was up and down all day.
Then we restructures and I am like 10 steps away.
Fuck it.
Crispy bacon for a WIN. Oh well, bacon is bacon. Save it for later. 😉
I have done 6000 steps for 60 minutes for years. I use Netflix to bide my time. Lots of good movie watching.
You definitely need some brunch partners… maybe have them bring some Mops to help with the cleanups… group therapy? How dare these therapists even dream of vacation!
I’m pretty sure I would have done 10000 steps on my run on Saturday (yes, any opportunity to brag). But I doubt their worth when you spend the rest of the day trying to not walk or walking like an 80 year old with arthritic hips. 10000 steps is over-rated.
Oh God oh God nooooooooo not Bacon please please
How the f@#% are you going to eat Brussels Sprouts now?
bwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa!
You know I haven’t cooked it again!
I have to say that I disapprove of flaccid bacon. Actually, I disapprove of many, ah, flaccid things come to think of it.
But Got in Himmel (as my German grandmother used to say) do I love a good brunch. Whoever thought of brunch needs a statue in their honor. Or a holiday.
on a Sunday.
(we are going again this Sunday cause we have respite! HUZZAH!)
I average about 20,000 steps per day – two small kids! I can recommend fitbit if you want to track them. Sending hugs!
Jesus Christ on a bike, really?
I have a fit bit in my bra as we type!
I only did 10,000 steps on the days I actually went for a walk – on a normal day I would do about 2,000 if I was lucky – a few days I felt cr*p I think I did about 200 – enough to get from the couch to the bathroom a few times and then take myself off to bed !
Sending heaps of big hugs !
Me
I go for a walk every day and rarely crack it. Maybe I have my pedometer thingy in the wrong spot!
Don’t do ten thousand anything I think. Maybe keystrokes on any given day but certainly not steps.
Always arrive early wherever I need to be, something drilled into me by my mother. Better to be early than late.
I am insanely punctual. Like hide around the corner until the clock strikes the time I should arrive punctual.
It is a sickness. I need a support group.
10,000 steps? Really, who does that sort of thing? I do much less also because we live in a tiny apartment and it is only a few steps anywhere in it. BUt the bacon situation is serious!
I still have no idea how you manage to keep so slim…
I’d totally do brunch with you. But I’d probably want to order something else. Like those pancakes you had the other day. What’s with the shrink opening the tardis and fucking off? That’s crazy! Feel better soon x
on a quiet day at work I do around 8,000 steps, I have on a super busy day clocked up 25,000 on my days off I’m lucky to do 1,000
and bacon should definitely be Flacid nothing worse than bacon you can’t chew on
I try not to eat much bacon – it’s so damn hard to resist those nitrates and preservatives and bacon smell.
For years I was obsessed about 10000 steps a day , seriously I wore my pedometer everywhere. Everywhere.
I had to walk at least an hour a day on top of normal stuff – I walked the freakin pram so many times around the block, to the park whatever. I had a reputation with the locals and they could hear my twins coming !!
Then I lost it, too lazy (too poor, or I can be bothered) to buy a new one. I found it buried in the dirt near the farm gate. Stuffed, 3 months later.
His fault , he made me get out and open the gate.
Now I run, slowly but I run and walk in between – it took me months and now I’m back where I started .
I don’t run.
I get a headache from when my arse slaps the back of my head.
Kelley – you win my internet tonight ! LOL
I am chronically late too – that is why I have to run. The peeps at the Lodge are seriously in awe of me. I get to my appointment with 10 secs to spare.