Today I just feel lost.
I feel like I am screaming out for help and the words are caught, twisted and come out all wrong.
And I sit there confused and confuddled and the world just pats me on the head and tells me I am being silly.
Pain is with me always.
Somewhere, always, shouts emanating from my body and flooding my brain.
Relentless screams for attention.
Waking up anxiety and his nasty friend PTSD.
I don’t know what to do.
Part of me thinks keep fighting.
Another, the exhausted and defeated majority, says just give up. Lay down the sword. It is just not worth it.
Do what you can, accept the consequences.
It is just too damn hard to fight.
To get help.
Right now, as I type this someone is trying to hack into my blog.
I see them, the alerts coming every few seconds.
Overnight some fucker got into my Twitter.
If I can’t fix these issues myself, I have a network of people that can do it for me.
They wont yell at me or belittle me or tell me it is all in my head, or that I am just a whiner.
Because I did not ask for someone to hack my blog or Twitter.
Shit like this just happens. It sucks but you fix it and move on.
Pity real life doesn’t work like that.
Well not for me anyway. I guess I have yet to crack the CSS.