So last time we spoke read INTERACTED ON THE INTERNET, I was – and still am – sporting a rather fetching shade of red eye, and Boo spent 6 hours with other humans for the first time in 2 weeks and got himself a lovely case of allergic conjunctivitis.
Both of us with red eyes. Both unfuckingrelated.
This morning MPS woke with a sore arse.
Well, he has been bitching about his sore arse since last week when he had an injection in said arse to attempt to raise his testosterone levels from negative numbers, but this morning the bitching escalated and he kept asking me to touch his butt to see if it was hard.
Yeah. Sure buddy, a likely story. I am not falling for that.
Again…
So he made an appointment with good ol’ Dr Al, the third appointment from this family in a week.
And turns out he has a hematoma in his fucking ARSE and has to have tomorrow off work as well.
He thinks that means he doesn’t have to cook dinner.
I say get in the damn kitchen and make me a sandwich.
I had TWO strokes.
They trump everything.
I win.
P.S. HOLY FUCK. Do NOT google image hematoma. MPS doesn’t even have a discolouration. I reckon he is making it up just trying to get out of making me a sandwich.
P.P.S. So now I have another week to wait before I get recharge time. I may go HULK SMASH.
P.P.P.S. Boo may still be home tomorrow as well.
P.P.P.P.S. FMD why couldn’t they pull this shit LAST WEEK?
P.P.P.P.P.S. My ASOS order came today and I adore it all. At least SOMETHING is awesome. Oh and I want bacon in my sandwich.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Gives a new meaning to the term “hard-arse”…
@Ren: Overly firm buttocks. On one side …
no. Hard arse.
Haematoma of the arse. That right there is bloggy gold. xx
@Nicole: That was my last album: “Pink Eye & Bloggy Gold” …
you know you don’t have to do the @ thing on a blog post MPS… this is not fucking twitter.
It is possible to get the hematoma without the discolouration. I always had them from injections too, I’d massage them with arnica cream a few times per day. It seemed to help. They don’t last all that long anyway and I see no reason why it should affect MPS sandwich making skills, with or without bacon.
@river: It didn’t. Sangas made with appropriate love and care …
Well of course I had to Google hematoma! And auto correct wants to change hematoma to tomato OMG I AM NEVER EATING TOMATOES AGAIN.
Totes agree, they could have pulled this shit last week.
Hope your pink eye is better, Lovely.
xx
fucking DEAD PEOPLE and OMG… I am scarred.
Eye is no better, but got a second opinion.
So your man really is a hard-arse then? Sorry, couldn’t resist Hope the pink-eyes are better and someone has made you a freaking sandwich. With salted fries on the side.
mmmmm… fries.
Gosh, you must have kicked MPS hard… What did he do?
Two strokes even trumps a royal flush. You win at everything… MPS needs to get his sore arse in the kitchen and make your sandwich.
exactly.
I win at everything.
@MarioPS seriously, dude, stop polishing that seat so hard and your arse won’t go all bleeding bruise on your….arse.
And make the Queen some bacon and peanut butter toasted sangas.
You win.
Two strokes totally beat a bruised ass.
Even if he went ahead and had a stroke (flying spaghetti monster forbid) he would still lose. Because it was JUST ONE.
I’d go there with the hard-ass jokes, but too many people have already done it! 🙂
And I did it first so he would just be copying me.
Jack went back to school today after 3 weeks of quality Mummy Time. I am ready for a bottle of gin x
a fucking CASE of gin.
BTW, you know I have STILL not tried gin. Recommendation?
Two words – zombie apocalypse.
Seriously, where is the fancy dress party when you are half prepared/unwittingly accessorized with mad zombie eyes?
fuck yes. Obviously I was over excited about the return of The Walking Dead.