I have had a couple of people comment over the last few months about how I am a ‘private person’.
I know, right? If they only knew…
But seriously, I think that these people have made a error of judgement.
Mistaken my LISTENING TO THEIR PROBLEMS instead of interjecting and interrupting and making everything about me for being secretive.
You know, adhering to the structure of a conversation as apposed to talking over each other like I see most people doing.
On Friday I was beside myself worrying about Boo and The Girl (he has been moved to another classroom as they had to be separated. The Girl has taken to teasing Boo about this. BULLYING HIM. And he is not taking it well) and yet no one knew.
Because the only conversation was a one sided conversation.
The other side.
Or, which is becoming increasingly common and frustratingly fucking frustrating as people become more comfortable and confuse playful teasing with being a fucking dick, when I get told to ‘harden up’ in relation to my shoulder or various forms of scoffing when I finally admit defeat and say I can’t remember.
I don’t want to wear a fucking sign reminding people I have deficit due to the strokes, crazy reactions to stupid shit cause of the PTSD and a fucking torn rotator cuff and adhesive capsulitis aka a fucked up shoulder.
I HATE admitting that I am less than
I HATE asking for consideration or extra time or allowances.
So I stay quiet.
Nod and smile and listen to their stories.
Smile and laugh, commiserate and console where appropriate.
And get labelled with ‘private’ instead of in reality just waiting my turn to speak.