Days where it is meeting upon meeting, all concentrating on deficits and not achievements.
I dropped my smiling boy off at school and arrived just on time to my first meeting.
A meeting to register my boy for social activities, to get out in the real world – with supports – with people his own age.
Two hours later, after painting my boy as the most horrific child ever to walk this earth (the GIRL is going to be there! THE GIRL AND MY BOY IN A SOCIAL SETTING. Fuck) to ensure that they are as prepared as possible for anything, I wearily drag myself to the car to go to yet another meeting.
Stopping home for a quick revitalising latte. And if I am brutally honest I would have killed someone for a stress relieving cigarette.
In the next meeting we talk about puberty and hormones and Boo’s tendency to shout ‘SCANDALOUS!’ when he doesn’t get his way.
And on to hygiene and strategies to get him learn to express his feelings.
Finishing up with an impromptu one on one in the carpark with his worker talking about strategies to deal with THE GIRL.
I want to shout to the world that he is fabulous and wonderful and hilarious and brave and adorable and caring and has the wickedest sense of humour in the world and PLEASE OH PLEASE CAN WE FOCUS ON THAT JUST ONCE?
But we have to focus on the negative. His awesomeness is not an issue. His awesomeness is WHY these people want to help him but it is so fucking hard when all we are focussing on is this small part of the whole.
Home again, just enough time to stare blankly into the pantry for something to eat before leaving again, and finding nothing.
Triple shot latte in a travel mug it is!
Get to school and meet with his teacher. Heads up on the days meetings and strategising about how to deal with THE BOY AND THE GIRL. And he saw a new OT. She wants to work with him privately.
Of course she does. Now I have another round of funding nightmare to break out the hoops for.
*deep exhausted sigh*
My boy wanders in.
We wrap up the meeting and Boo and I walk to the car, where he tells me that he knows where to get the best sausage rolls in the world from, and maybe, one day, he can take me there for a treat.
He is smiling down at me and I smile back.
‘I would like that very much, buddy’
He is the glue that puts me back together.