So much has been going on of late that I have curled up into a rather large misshapen ball of unhappiness, flinging glares and middle fingers at anyone and anything that comes into my field of vision.
No, nothing catastrophic has happened. Just an endless stream of smouldering dripping shit from above, melding with crushing disappointments and defeats.
So much so, that the poor guy that sits next to me at work hears nothing but a stream of muttered profanities coming from my side of our shared partition.
And on the days where I am not forced to have human contact, I have sequestered myself from the world, choosing to spend my time screaming at All The Housewives Of All Of The Places on my TV and picking at my cuticles till they bleed.
Pretty much life as usual here at Chez Magnetobold.
Todays fuckupery that has me wailing at the sky and flopping myself heavily daintily on various forms of furniture for dramatic effect is nothing major (but everything), not going to kill anyone (but I may die from despair), and nothing really in the great scheme of things (OMG MY LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!!!), but I won’t be going to a bloggers conference where I was to wax lyrical on a panel about the haters and the trolls I have encountered in my journey across the interwebs, with my friends Glowless, Mrs Woog and Reservoir Dad.
And hug a lot of my friends that live in this virtual world of awesome.
And I am DEVASTATED. COMPLETELY GUTTED.
Ready to cut a bitch.
There is no one to blame, no easy solutions, no one thing that stands in my way.
It is just life with a broken brain and a disabled kid and being surrounded by people that pretty much only want me around for what I can do for them.
Ooooh the bitter…
Whatever. I shall spend the cash I had saved for margaritas and taxis on a fabulous pair of shoes.
Right?
Right.
So tell me, who is NOT going to the Digital Parents Conference and will keep me distracted and if you are going, who is going to swipe me some swag?
{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m not going. And I’m kinda glad about that, because if I *was* going, I would have wanted to see you. So there’s a crushing disappointment averted.
Hugs!
well it is like I am doing a SERVICE, right?
Shall send you my bill in the mail.
I’m not going. Devastated for us both.
Big mwahs.
Xxxx
we can have our own party. Synchronise our watches?
And our whine glasses
X
Nope not going. I was thinking of losing myself in a bowl of Lindt’s finest till the tweeting and all the “OMG Best Conference EVA” blog posts are long past.
I am thinking of either hiding from the internet or randomly announcing BEST EVER things.
Like toast and bowel movements.
Nope, not going, have no interest in another conference.
Hope somebody swipes you some swag.
I’m not going and very happy with my decision.
I guess if it was my decision, like with Problogger, it would be different. But I was really looking forward to the damn panel.
I’m sorry you had to miss out, Kel. Let’s hope the planets align better for you next year…
I’m not going and I don’t even really know exactly what it is because I am a bit of a noob. But I’m so sorry you aren’t going how disappointing, I can totally imagine it 🙁
Like when I was 16 and my mum and I were going to go to my cousins wedding in Paris but she changed her plans and went with her new boyfriend instead. Crushing.
shit, did you ever forgive her? I WOULDN’T HAVE!
yeah, I am with Veggie Mama, that is unforgivable.
🙁
I was meant to moderate that forum.
Fuck it, can’t go either.
I thought you were! But then I assumed it was my borked brain telling me stories.
We shall cry into our lattes together my friend.
x
Not going. Big Boy’s birthday takes precedence… the alcoholic slushies, friends deciding to provide the live music, and great company through to the wee hours made up for it somewhat.
Am glad now as you would have been one of my reasons for going…
That is why I never get to go to Problogger, birthdays always take precedence.
Mmmmm margarita slushies…
(we shall get together one day my lovely…)
Not going. Thought about it, then smacked self over head and reminded self that to go to a blogger’s conference, one must pull one’s finger out and blog occasionally. Duh. xx
meh… I don’t think it is a prerequisite.
90% of it is socialising anyway.
Nope not going – but I think I need to be a real blogger to qualify. My latest post certainly doesn’t help 🙂 Can I buy shoes too?
Meet you on a cyber date?
xxx
as long as you wear your new shoes.
Nooo I was sooo looking forward to meeting you 🙁
one day my friend.
I will hug you till you fart.
Bugger 🙁 It sucks when you’re looking forward to a treat and then you end up having to stay home and be a grown-up instead. I’m sad for you, but I’m even more sad for the other attendees because that panel will totally be lacking in awesome now.
I would have loved to have gone but general work/money/kids obstacles meant it was never more than a pipe dream for this year. I’ve decided the only way to stop myself from developing a Cinderella Complex is to avoid social media and use the time to write my ass off instead.
being a grown up sucks sometimes.
I’m not going. I wasn’t invited. Probably because I don’t blog.
Happy to join your virtual margarita party though.
no one was invited my lovely! It is a buy your own ticket to go thingy.
And I am pretty sure that they don’t check if you have a blog.
Next time?
Not going either hun 🙁
think we should do a nonDPCON13 party for all not going
I’m not going. I would LOVE to go, but I’ve been hot wiring my car for two years now because I can’t afford a new starter engine, so money for a conference in another city sure as shit isn’t there. I’m not even joking!
We should all have a bitter twitter pity party and get shit faced. Then they can Skype us on a big screen at the conference in all our bleary eyed glory and the drunken ‘I love youse!’ will ring around the world.
hugs
xx
this sounds so fucking awesome, we need to do it.
My un-tattooed boobs are missing you already – anything decent swag wise I’ll send your way x
thanks gorgeous.
And I will tattoo you FIRST next time, deal?
One of my highlights was meeting you Kel but there is always another time. Much love. Coralie.
Coralie,
were you there last year? Missed your International Women’s Day speech by 12 hours (had to return to Qld).
No Madmother (love your name by the way and can relate to that a little at the moment) I was not there last year as I had literally just found the fantastic world of blogging at the time.
it is a shame you missed International Women’s Day, Bree and the other ladies put on a fantastic day. Probably not a bad thing I seemed to make everyone cry. (Not desired affect for the record). Miss Cinders has said she should have taken out shares in Kleenex for my speech for Digital Parents Conference. So you will get a cut down version but if going off Miss Cinders advice , bring tissues. Look forward to meeting you.
Ah, just about the time I began to wane after 3 years on the blogathon.
May have to try and catch up on one of my southern trips down to my cottages. 😉
Enjoy the conference!
xx
Not going babe but I’m sure it won’t be the same without you!
thanks lovely, there needs to be an ‘awesome fabulous bloggers conference’ that we can both rock the shit out of, yes?
OR – you could be me, whose wife has asked him for a divorce.
my heart is breaking for you Lou. x
sorry to hear things are so crappy for you lately. But here’s to margaritas and fabulous shoes.
cheers my friend.
Not going either cos, you know, I don’t blog any more.
That bites.
The Universe needs to listen to more Cyndi Lauper, so it will learn that girls just wanna have fun.
I’m not going either. It’s all too hard. Hard to be at home, harder to be away. The proverbial rock and the hard place. Chin up chick, we shall drink margaritas and talks shoes instead.
that we shall.
Going shoe shopping tomorrow.
Oh kelley, I am sorry to hear you are not going , really bites that reality bites hard. I was asked about a different forum but hubs work came first.
So I am not going either because it is a long story but turns out due a turn of events and disappointments , the work was cancelled last week – then a chance invitation offered up – so I’ll be in Sydney anyway.
Oh so close I will be but so far away.
oh Trish. Fucking universe can suck my flaccid imaginary male appendage on your behalf.
xx
Oh I’m disappointed too. I was looking forward to seeing you in the flesh even if I didn’t manage to get through the fans to say gday in person. I like Lisa Barton-Collins idea above – it should be streamed at the dinner. xx
oh stop it… I would have been the one hiding in the corner anyway.
Next time, yes?
Not going and I’m ok with that 🙂
You and me both love. I’ll be sitting at home here in ye distant Perth, watching the Twitter stream with total jealousy. At least I can sit in my PJ’s and drink vodka far earlier at home than I could at the conference, amiright!?
not necessarily. Call it fashion and fill a drink bottle with tequila.
That was my plan anyway.
Not going. Maybe if it was in Melbourne this year… who am I kidding, I have two weeks to go and can barely waddle to the front door, let alone through hotel conference rooms. I may be following along on twitter, but will more likely be having some hot dates with my bed and the inside of my eyelids. And chocolate, of course.
oh sleeeeeeeeeeep.
I need some more of that.
MWAH!
I’m not going either. sigh. you know, money, work, busy hubby, kids, blah blah blah. I’m sure we’re going to be big balls of envy this week. I might step away from my computer and get caught up in this busyness. Who am I kidding!
I’ll be holding the Fort here with you lovely, I would have loved to go – just to hear you speak all kinds of awesome – but it seems the Universe is saving that for another day. Hope you are ok? Hugs and cider xx
do you know that there is a PASSIONFRUIT CIDER?!?!?!
OMG.
I shall buy some and some new shoes and it will totally make up for not going. Right?
I’m going. I want to make up impromptu MAGNETOBOLD WAZ ERE stickers, maybe Insta them on the dunnycan or something, cheer you up a bit.
I’ll postpak you some cake? Hey you know how you wrote “tacos” on my post today …… guess what my brain invented?
TACO CAKE.
I KNOW.
CAN YOU IMAGINE.
Layers of sour cream, corn chips, black beans and chill beef. In the shape of a CAKE.
We need to patent it. I’ll have our lawyers draw up contracts.
xxxxxxxx
PS GUACAMOLE FOR ICING
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I WANT THAT NOW.
Next conference I am going to hold in my cubby house. And we will have a mexican theme.
Bring the maracas.
(wish I was there with you girl. You need one of my hugs. True story)
Yesssss to purty shooeesssss….
always yes to purdy shoes.
Always.
Am childless…. so don’t think I’d fit in…. so I’ll be around.
I am actually annoyed at the name of the conference. There are many bloggers that don’t have kids that go, AND are speakers.
You would have been more than welcome and totally would have fit in my lovely.
We need to create our own fucking conference.
Digital Passionfruit Cider Conference. Am making the cheesecake now.
My lovely, I’m not going. And I’m more pissed about not getting my booby tattoo this year 🙁 I’m sure some hot guys checked me out on the plane ride home last year with my ink. I’m hoping next year it’s in Brisbane, which would be so much easier! xo
I must say, when I realised you weren’t there (because I was too busy being ridiculously nervous and freaked out in the lead-up that I couldn’t even blog let alone read other blogs) I was about ready to go and complain to someone that they had ruined my conferencing experience. Very sad to not have been able to bow down at your Harry-Potter-party-and-just-general-awesomeness, and to see if you sound the same in real life as you do in my head.