I can only pee when my audience is under 18 months old.
And that is only under duress.
MPS on the other hand will HOLD A FUCKING CONVERSATION while he is taking a shit.
On the phone.
(he is talking on the phone and sitting on the toilet, not actually shitting ON the phone. But both are pretty much in the same league of WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?)
Often he will wander into the bathroom while I am doing my makeup and I can SEE HIM IN THE MIRROR BEHIND ME sitting on the toilet, with his concentrating face.
He is all there is nothing wrong with that we are MARRIED and I am all there is every thing wrong with that and maybe we shouldn’t be… please don’t look me in the eyes while you are shitting…
How about you? ย Can you pee with people that can string a sentence together in the same room?
Or are you like me, rocking the AWESOME pelvic floor stoppage ability and on permanent stage fright?

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
Nope. Im with you. If we were on the market to buy a house it would be a total deal breaker if the toilet didnt have a door. I cant stand seeing it, hearing it or smelling it if its not me doing it!
Noooooo! Absolutely No! Mystery dude – mystery!
I could never do either, nor burp or fart of have a single bodily function, in ear shot of a soul… and then I had a life changing experience.. I took a teacher placement in Arhnem Land where I shared an open stall toilet and shower with 12 other adults.. one with IBS… for three weeks… While I draw the line at a public shitting… it got real man.
Oh my that’s a life changer if I’ve ever heard one!
I went to boarding school, then i was a nurse for 25 years. I can pee anywhere any time. Although I can’t squat. Hooray for go-girls
Dear God – this is something I have never gotten. There are some things about your partner that you just don’t need to see.
…. Yesterday, while I was at the local shopping centre, a woman (I was going to say “lady” … but she’s not one) I had the misfortune of being in the next toilet cubicle to, Answered Her Phone Whilst Pissing. She was speaking really loudly and sort of grunting-sighing at the same time. Was it wrong of me to repeatedly flush then set off the hand-dryer in order to mess with her conversation? I think of it more as teaching phone etiquette in a passive-aggressive way….
I’m trying to maintain the mystery. And my dignity. He’s trying to interest me in the finer points of his extrusions. It’s an ongoing battle.
My husband must be related to yours. Ack. Or is it we’re blessed?
My man and I pee in front of each other (although he seems to get stage fright and whinges if i actually turn and look at him rather than, say, paying full attention to doing my teeth or drying myself or painting my nails)… but I’m totally NOT okay with #2’s. And I have a firm rule that if you wouldn’t do it in front of someone then don’t do it while you’re on the phone to them. Cos, eeuw.
ewww … i’m with you on that one. too much information. and smells. and, erm, concentration face!
Does this mean you can’t pee at work if someone else is in the bathroom? Were you raised to think that a natural bodily function is somehow shameful? I can pee in front of my hubby, although we’re divorced now, so I suppose that point is moot, and he could pee in front of me too. Poops we kept more private. But I can pee and poop without caring who is in the next cubicle at work or anywhere else either. It’s a normal happening and everyone does it, even the Queen pees and poops. Holding for a little while is fine, but continual holding and the tension it causes within the body just isn’t good for you. Constant bodily tension. 24/7 tension. Not Good.
So let me get this straight … peeing in front of someone is OK, but pooing is not? I am confused. Where is the line drawn?
There is no real line, we have each pooped while the other was in the bathroom, sometimes it’s unavoidable when the toilet is in the actual bathroom. It’s a consideration thing, poops are smelly.
well, i dont see the problem with it, i do both with my husband there and viseverse, actually i saw the video and i would say thats soooooo him and i, only thing the convo would be, before we get in the bathroom me: “i need to take a dump” him:”well i am taking one first” me:i said it first!!!!” him: you know how i am, i cant hold it!!!” me: “we will see, who makes it first”….we get home and race our buts to the bath room…the one that didnt make it to the toilet first rushes the other one to hurry and complaints about how it stinks, while the other one loughs and says “im trying!!!! but u dont let me consentrate “…..lol i do yell @him when he used to pee on the sink so he stoped, but if i take long while using the toilet he would just go streight to the sink @_@…with that said , i would never eat by my self on a public restaurant, i jus feel acward/weird i rather starve…i guess we all have our thing.
I’m really uptight about those kinds of things. I don’t even put pictures of toilets in hotel room reviews if I can help it ๐
It depends on how much I’ve been drinking, but, yeah… I feel mostly like you about such things.
A few years ago when my parents were looking for a house in a small Texas town north of me we were running around with a real estate agent looking at these very nice domasiles and were shown one that had … “his and her” potties. SIDE BY SIDE in the bathroom. And I am talking reach out and touch one another close! Not even a stupid little half wall between them.
Sooo for the couple that does EVERYTHING together? LOL
You know when you are in a restaurant with mates and get up to go to the loo and your mates girlfriend says “I’ll come too”? Yeah well I have to turn round and say in no uncertain terms they will not because otherwise I just sit there unable to let go.
I even wrote a post about my crippling shy bladder:
http://womb4improvement.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/golden-dribbles.html
Oh no – i am definitely a priate abluter. I cant get over new houses with ensuites that open out to the bedroom with NO DOOR !
A while ago we went through a bedroom dry spell and I was talking to my friend about how to get the juices flowing again (so to speak). The first thing she asked me was “do you use the toilet with the door open?” Which cracked me up and confirmed for me that I was not alone in thinking I would never be able to find a man sexy if I knew what his poo face looked like.
For the record – new bed linen, cleaning the room til it was spotless and felt like a hotel and banishing iCLutter from the bedroom made a huge difference.
Carol x
In Japan, I’m told that they have music so nobody has to listen to the sound of others urinating.
Yes.
So, there are many cultures who find the whole act of deification uncomfortable.
I think I like the idea of peeing alone because I can shut the door and have a couple of minutes on my own.
I have a 3 year old, so I have lost the ability to pee on my own. I draw the line at pooing though. No, sorry, You DO NOT poo while I am in the bathroom and I don’t care how much you scream & cry & bang on the door, it stays shut while I am doing “number 2’s”. I won’t even go if the toilet is still warm… I hate trying to use public bathrooms because I hate to hear or be heard, and there is nothing quite as disgusting as smelling someone else…
We chose one of our houses based around the fact that it had separate toilet/bathroom. I HATE how all the new houses have the master bedroom ensuite without a door these days – KEEP SOME MYSTERY!!!
When we were travelling a few years ago with our (mostly) adult children ….. oldest daughter, her fiance, middle daughter, youngest daughter, my husband and I ….. we pulled off the road at about 10 p.m. after being on the road for about twelve hours of an eighteen hour trip. The only room available was the “honeymoon” suite, which sounded great, as it had a huge bedroom and an attached sitting room with TWO pull-out sofa beds. However, imagine our shock when we discovered a FULLY OPEN bathroom in the master bedroom of the honeymoon suite. It had a large spa tub beside the bed, and a shower a few feet from that (with a crystal clear shower door), a small sink for handwashing and toothbrushing, and a toilet sitting right out in the open, on a teeny pedestal no less. This toilet was about a foot from the shower, three feet from the tub and about three and a half feet from the bed! I’m not sure about any of you guys, but there ain’t anything about a toilet out in the open, just three feet or so from the king-size bed that whispers “honeymoon” suite imho!!! We made an agreement that there would be nobody doing any “number twos” in that toilet …. and after a very short “rest” stop, we hit the road to complete our trip. Don’t know too many honeymooners who would consider performing various bodily functions right next to the bed as a great prelude to any sort of romantic activities, but our kids took it as a great photo op, and posed (fully clothed) making use of the various facilities (all at the same time)!! One “bathed”, one “showered”, one “brushed their teeth”, and the last sat atop the “throne”, while I obliged by taking the photo!!!! ๐ (And for the record, my husband & I have been married 37 years, and have NEVER shared a washroom while one or the other is “going” in any way. I actually don’t even leave the door of the bathroom open even when I’m at home BY MYSELF!!)
We have been lucky to always have a door to close to our homes’ en suite bathrooms, but we have glimpsed each other doing both. We try not to make it a habit, though.
I have a toddler, and I can do anything in front of her, but I refuse to let my 10 year old within ten feet of the bathroom if I am in there.
I can pee in front of anyone. Not exaggerating. I was in the Navy and have no problem peeing with people walking about. I peed in dormitory-style stalls (some with no doors) for 5 years straight. But I cannot and I mean CAN-fucking-NOT poop in front of any person. I don’t think I pooped those 5 years in the Navy. I can only poop in front of my dogs, and I only let them in because they freak the fuck out when I have the door shut for more than 30 seconds and their whinging screws up my poop concentration. Besides, they totally think my poop smells fantastic and I love that kind of validation. The worst part of pooping at home is that my husband has PSP (poop sensing perception). Every time I sit down, he starts coming up the stairs and I have to holler, “Poopin’!” And then he sighs and heads back down the stairs.
I can only pee in front of Craig and Ally (and Ally only if she’s turned the other way and we are drunk).
No poos. No. Just no.
Please, I hardly remember to close the door & do my pants back up when I pee when Ihave visitors at home. It’s terrible, but with 3 babies I guess I’ve just acclimatised. Number 2 is a whole different story though. That’s not for sharing. Keep that shit to yourself.
Yes, totally with you on this, as is my husband. Is he gay?!
OMG, hilarious!
I can pee or poo anywhere! I used to not be able to. Not at school or work but I got badly constipated. Now I’ll go anywhere because I’m selfish and I hate being blocked up.
At home, the bathroom door is always open. But I only have a 3.5 yo to worry about coming in. I don’t want him to ever feel embarrassed about his natural bodily functions so I don’t hide away from him. I do try to be discrete when I have my period though. No boy needs to see that from his mum.
I like my privacy, and it has become a big thing to let Mama be alone on the loo. To the point where I will sometimes go and hide out in there for some quiet time.
Hubby doesn’t pee in the sink, but evil dominating shoulder cat has been known to use the sink for such a purpose. Which involves intense cleaning from me and way more intense laughter from Hubby.
This reminded me of the time I watched a full grown male just urinate casually in the middle of a busy Melbourne pub. And onto an acquaintance’s skirt. The bouncers refused to throw him out and it was only later when a man caught him urinating IN THE SINK that he was eventually kicked out. I wish I was joking! Scarred me for life! So yes, I am in complete agreement.
Nope… not a freaking chance. I only recently graduated to the NOT freaking out stage of going to the ladies whilst your companions keep chatting over the stalls… Yes… and I still have to stop and think about it. UGH!!
I could pee with my husband, but no one else. Not so comfortable with the girls’ expedition to the toilet together thing. I have a deadly friend who cheerfully sat on the toilet with me in the room and said, ‘oh, yeah, I’ll pee in front of anybody. I’d quite like to feel that carefree!
Pooing together is not a good thing, imo. Not to be done.
Father Ted’s unwelcome visitor crosses the line from boring to horror: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCzebM-zZzY&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL3E002429F533B726