Those of you playing MB2 Bingo get ready to get your ‘exotic diseases that wont slow Kelley down’ cards cause I have a red herring to throw in there.
The one thing that knocks me flat and makes me curl into a ball and whine like a motherbitch.
The common cold.
OH MAH GAH YOU GUISE I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SICK.
Yes, I have checked if I am growing a penis. I am not.
My throat hurts.
My nose is running
I have a headache
My lips are so dry they split and now when I sneeze they bleed
All I can do is lay on the couch, listening to Boo play The Blob over and over AND OVER AND OVER OMG WHEN WILL IT STOP only getting sweet relief once in a while when he plays the theme song from Attack of The Killer Tomatoes, and mopping up snot with roll upon roll of toilet paper while watching Sister Wives cause I ran out of All the Housewives of All Of The Places.
I AM SO MISERABLE OH MAH GAH HALP MEH
I must say my timing is impeccable though, not sick during our annual weekend of awesome and it is school holidays so I don’t have to drag myself off the couch and terrify the villagers with my mad hair, cracked face, no makeup, mouthbreathing self.
I reserve that horror for MPS.
So, my lovelies, I need me some recommendations for:
More trashy tv to watch.
Cold cures that don’t involve amputation or bloodletting. Cause that shit is nasty. Preferably including salt rimmed glasses full of Tequila with a splash of lime.
And rapid skin healers cause I look like I have leprosy of the face (given my track record I wouldn’t be surprised if I did)
I shall just whimper here in the corner while I wait.
Did I mention my throat hurts? *sobs*