We are on week two of the school holidays.
The house is a pit, we haven’t left in days and we both have colds.
And Boo is getting on my nerves.
Yes, I love him with every fibre of my being but fuck me dead we have had some fights.
I am so over the shit all over the house and he is so over me telling him to pick it up.
Right now he is in his room. I can hear him bitching and kvetching even with his door closed down the other end of the house.
He was sent there for threatening to kill me for picking up his papers off the floor. I might have asked him FOUR BILLION TIMES to do it himself and indicated that if I had to do it that it was all going in the bin. And I might have picked all that fucking paper up and then walked towards the bin with his movie script that he is apparently going to give to George Lucas (personally I think it is more suited to Quentin Tarantino but what do I know…)
But the shit is off the floor – not literally, the literal shit is all over the sides of the toilet… What the ever loving fuck is with that? Does he sit sideways? How does it always end up stuck high up on the right side of the fucking bowl? I guess I should be thankful it is not on the walls or the floor or MY BEDDING… this time – but I digress, that is a rant for another day and my coffee is getting cold as I sit here in the peace and quiet…
‘How much longer?’ he calls from his room.
‘Five minutes!’ I yell back even though he has been in there for eight and sent him in there for ten.
The peace and quiet. Just a little longer.
Just let me finish this coffee. And this blog post. And breathe for a few minutes without him yelling at his computer or playing Nik Kershaw on loop or asking me to be the news reader for this weeks movie: the remake of the 1958 movie The Blob.
School holidays were invented by teachers to make us appreciate them more.
Do you send your kids to their rooms just for a few minutes peace?
And do you tell them it is five minutes more when it is in actual fact only three and pretty much scar your kids for life by lying to them?