So MPS has been home for just over a week with a toothache.
Eleven days to be exact.
264 hours to be exacter.
Too fucking long in my face with all the moaning and breathing and talk of motherfucking pus coming out of his motherfucking abscess and OOOOOH HONEY COME HERE AND GIVE ME A KISS.
It is enough to drive a woman batshit crazy…
I am the sort of person that needs quiet time.
Space to be with myself and my voices of reason.
Myself and my voices of reason that think it is perfectly acceptable to wander around the house sans pants in complete silence and then pull apart a room/cupboard/psyche at a whim.
I NEED TO BE AH-LOOOOOOONE.
And I have to be alone to write a blog post.
You see, I USED to go outside and have a cigarette to compose my thoughts. It was just me and nature and a filthy haze of expelled Dunhill Refined. And then I would run inside, type a mile a minute and hit publish.
And then hide from the internet for a while until everyone had found the spelling and gramatical mistakes and finished emailing and mocking me.
It was a SYSTEM and it WORKED.
And then I gave up the sticks of death and had to find another way of writing. And this was silence with my laptop and looking at
porn pinterest and it was working so well until those pesky kids and their dog… Where the kids are MPS and the dog is an abscess full of pus squirting into his mouth OMG MAKE THE VISIONS STOP!!!!!
So MPS has been firmly entrenched on the couch and if he is not reading out random shit from the internet while I am trying to craft the perfect post he is playing stupid fucking shit from youtube through the huge speakers attached to his laptop just inches away from me OMG I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE JUST TO GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!!!!
The previous post was written in 5 minutes while MPS was in the toilet.
My creative juices juice THEMSELVES when I am able to hear myself fucking think without the latest Batman trailer set to AEROPLANE ENGINE on his speakers.
And now, in this first world we live in full of first world problems, Boo has to stay home because there is no electricity at his school.
Apparently that is not a good thing or some shit cause the kids might get cold or their respirators can’t run or the teachers can’t make a cup of tea THE POINT IS I have had MPS home forever and now Boo is home too.
So I will never ever be able to write a blog post again.
You are welcome.
P.S. Currently Boo is singing MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOM at the top of his lungs… and I think I heard ‘vagina’. Looks like they are doing sex ed at school this week. Don’t need fucking electricity for that… OMG.