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All I want for Christmas.

by Kelley

in Christmas

Well OBVIOUSLY I want world peace, an end to hunger, a huge lottery win, Rudi’s estate to be finalised in our favour, Crocs to be banned, my awesomeness to be recognised in a bronze statue depicting me as Mary MacKillop

lose this med induced weight with out losing these amazing firm breasticles at that are an AWESOME side effect and the Education Department to get their head outta their arses and admit they made a fucking mistake so we can all laugh about it and go on with our lives.

Whilst I wait for that, and lets be honest they are not the sort of things you can wrap and put under the tree… well not neatly anyway and I am totally anal about the perfection and colour co-ordination of the presents under the tree bitches… here is a list in no particular order of things that you can get me for Christmas MPS Damn Emos Friends Biatches Random dudes that still email me asking for pictures of my feet Santa.

BTW wrapping theme this year is brown paper packages tied up with string.  DO NOT STRAY FROM THE THEME.

 

Lime green and/or orange iphone 4 case

raspberry liquorice

ipad

anything in this post {especially the wine glasses IPAD Tiffany necklace IPAD Max Brenner chocolate IPAD}

All the DVD’s of all of the Housewives of All the Places.  Don’t fucking judge me.  I love to point and laugh at the rich people.

a treadmill.  Like for serious.  I love me a treadmill.  WITH A DESK ATTACHED OMG! So I can craft fabulous posts and watch all the DVD’s of all of the Housewives of All the Places while removing this excess stomach/arse fat.

macarons.  Yes I mention food after a treadmill.  I need the sustenance.

orange Kate Spade bag.  Or an orange bag.  Or a Kate Spade bag.  Or a fucking orange Kate Spade bag.

a kindle cover.  Yes, these are from Etsy.  Some Etsy shit is awesome. Some is well… not.

My own post mix machine thingy for home. To keep hydrated while I am crafting awesome blog posts on my treadmill with a desk while watching all the DVD’s of all of the Housewives of All the Places.

I love me some post mix diet cola I DON’T KNOW WHY DO NOT QUESTION ME.

and of course, Christmas cannot be Christmas and Santa would have my nine inch heeled foot 12 inches up his arse if there are none of these in my stocking.

That shall do for now.  I don’t want to be greedy after all… but feel free to shower me in gifts.

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Glowless December 4, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Woman why didn’t you tell me you wanted an iPhone cover before I went away? They’re all $2.50 where I was!!!

Reply

2 eccentricess December 4, 2011 at 5:28 pm

OMG post mix Coke. SO yes.

You NEED the Treadmill. That would be beyond awesome and therefore worthy of you. May Tattslotto provide this for you, cos I’m uber sorry that I can’t.

Love the brown paper styling. Class that looks simple.

Reply

3 Lisa B December 4, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Oooooooooohhhhhhh, love the Orange!!!

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4 karin December 4, 2011 at 6:33 pm

I saw it all, but now all I can think about is bacon flavored Cheetos. Oh.my.God. They sound so delicious disgusting delicious amazing. I may die if they don’t have them when I go to the store tomorrow.

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5 Stranger Than Fiction aka Yeran December 4, 2011 at 10:26 pm

I love post mix diet coke too!!!! It defs taste different to any other diet coke or cola.
I like the idea of blogging and exercising at the same time 😀
Lime green fo sho on the iPhone 4 case!!
I hope you get most of these things, if not all of them Kelley. You bloody well deserve ’em!

Reply

6 Mrs Woog December 5, 2011 at 6:57 am

Poor Santas Ass.

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7 Marita December 5, 2011 at 8:17 am

Post mix coke is addictive, I’d love some of that.

I want a blender for Christmas, a proper big one with a jug so I can make smoothies and stuff for the family without having to use the annoying stick blender thing …. which does not blend up ice, so what is the use of it.

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8 Mandy December 5, 2011 at 9:20 am

That treadmill is soo cool, imagine how glamorous us bloggers would be then! lol.

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9 river December 5, 2011 at 8:57 pm

What is so special about a Kate Spade bag?
And the colour orange?
As far as showering you goes, sorry, my hose doesn’t stretch that far.

Reply

10 Jayne December 5, 2011 at 11:08 pm

I’ve always wanted a desk treadmill.

Not sure I’m co-ordinated enough to use one though. Walking and blogging and mousing ALL AT ONCE? o.O

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11 Kalistta End December 6, 2011 at 12:39 am

Count me in for the Kate Spade’s. I love this purse, it is a great eye-catcher!

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12 Annie@A View On Design December 6, 2011 at 12:48 am

Awesome list luv, I can def relate to most of your choices, I mean, you can’t have those cheese balls without the treadmill right! And you obviously need an orange bag, phone cover etc to co-ordinate with the colour of the cheese balls. Makes perfect sense to me. And a post mix machine to wash down the balls. I mean really, it all comes down to the balls. Great list. Well done.

Reply

13 Moo December 6, 2011 at 8:53 am

Bitch, that’s OUR theme.

Also, thankyou for the ideas. I haven’t been able to find you anything this year.

Reply

14 meleah rebeccah December 6, 2011 at 11:49 am

“Don’t fucking judge me. I love to point and laugh at the rich people.” Ahahhaha me too!

Hope you get the iPad!

Reply

15 Jayne December 6, 2011 at 3:23 pm

You do know your mail is about to be flooded with cheese and bacon flavoured balls?

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16 Chookie Inthebackyard December 6, 2011 at 11:00 pm

I somehow thought there’d be alcohol in here somewhere.

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17 Ali December 7, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I fucking love postmix diet coke. I am an addict, it has no equal. I have often thought of getting a machine, it would be wonderful. x

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18 Emma December 8, 2011 at 8:11 pm

I got myself a Soda Stream for my birthday so I can have post mix diet cola any time I want. Totally want the treadmill desk, i think better about some thngs when I’m walking.

Reply

19 Kelley December 8, 2011 at 8:12 pm

do they have diet COKE or PEPSI? Does it taste like post mix? Boo has been BEGGING for a soda stream!

Reply

20 Emma December 9, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Tastes like Diet Coke to me, especially if you make it a bit weak like post mix. Although I am much more partial to post mix lemonade, Pancake Parlour make the best (ie weakest!)

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