This morning I had a panic attack.
Not the usual tightening in my chest, breathless OMG HOLD IT TOGETHER KELLEY one that is becoming the fucking norm – much to my dismay.
No this morning it was the full blown tears spurting clear across the room, collapse on the floor cause my body went to jelly and my throat closed, covered in sweat feeling like I was going to die at THAT VERY MOMENT panic attack.
Thankfully Boo was in the shower at the time and didn’t have to witness his mother streaking down the hallway buck naked – because CLEARLY my clothes were trying to kill me – towards the kitchen to dunk my head in the sink.
Eventually I managed to calm the fuck down and get dressed and take one of my Chill The Fuck Out Pills™ and get Boo out of the shower where he proceeded to cover himself and my hair in toothpaste.
Minty freshness.
As I got Boo to school my Chill The Fuck Out Pill™ kicked in because in my wisdom I took it with half a cup of coffee and an empty stomach.
I have fucking awesome taste in shoes, but obviously not that smart.
So considering I was now a fucking zombie, my makeup streaked all over my face and still had a head full of toothpaste I decided to take a Mental Health Day.
Because if there was ever a time to TAKE a Mental Health Day is when you look the part.
And now, because of my stupidity the effects of the pill were starting to wear off and because my usual drugs of choice – smoking, spending money and cleaning the walls {which I did yesterday} – were not available to me I did the next best thing.
I baked.
Biscuits…
Dark Chocolate and Jam Drop
My freezer is now full of unbaked dough for ’emergencies’
{Recipe from fellow Aussie Blogger and AMB Conference goer The Planning Queen, thanks beautiful lady}
Creme Brulee
ommm nommm nommm
TWO chocolate cakes
And I am about to make meringues with the left over egg whites.
Oh and Mexican hamburgers for dinner.
And maybe some fudge.
And something with lemon.
Pie?
I am running out of room, and out of sugar.
And eggs.
What do YOU do when you need a distraction?
Cause I already cleaned the ceiling on the weekend.
Dammit.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh gorgeous,
Yeah, I clean, I eat, I go for a walk, I read things, I read destructive things, I beat myself up over things.
And then I blog the results too.
oh yeah and I spend money I dont have online. gah.
Wow.
I cook when I’m stressed, or sad. If I don’t have enough ingredients for cooking, I’ll lose myself in books and music. Cooking is a better option.
Tears spurting across the room?? You could hire yourself out as a fountain.
When I feel unsettled I have several choices for distraction, I can rearrange the pantry, I can go outside and prune the heck out of something, maybe read a book, but my distraction of choice is The Big Bang Theory.
From episode one onwards.
Send me some jam drops? I’m too lazy to make my own……
I cook. Or play Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. Or play blog reader tic tac toe 😉
And I get angry and yell and shout and watch The Circle and yell at Dr Phil and see how far I can go before I throw a brick through Oprah. Best is 8 minutes so far… And I have also decided that switching her off is better than throwing things at the telly.
But we so need to go on Ready Steady Cook together…
Oh honey. I do the cooking thing too. I am still putting forward my idea about a safe person to dump all of your shit on. I am happy to put my hand up but I am sure there are hundreds, nay thousands, of people who would volunteer to be the person for you to dump all your shit on. Sometimes you don’t need someone to give you advice, or make things better, just someone to hear all your shit. But baking is awesome. I have to confess that at various times smoking has been the thing for me too. Whatever works, fucking do it. List making? I dunno. Just hope you can get some relief in the next few days. I am worried about you.
xxxx
I sing opera. Loudly.
If you are singing in your lounge room, the results are pretty much the same, whether you’re trained or completely natural. And if you sing something in a language you don’t know you can bonus marks for creativity.
It’s kind of hollering and deep breathing and emoting and all the good stuff that is good to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usfiAsWR4qU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdTBml4oOZ8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZRssq7UlM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9eEwsGPf3s
My kids would love you, toothpaste and all…
valium is my weapon of choice
wanna come and clean my house??
Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry about the stupid panic attack. Fricken’ panic attacks can suck a dick.
I bake when I am feeling good and happy and joyous and free ….. I RARELY BAKE.
Yum..MO.
Feel better soon xoxoxox
Well… internet porn. Spot squeezing. That sort of thing.
I baked two batches of cookies and I’ve put on half a stone. It’s no good, I just eat them like crisps. Your baking is terrifying and beautiful, like a tiger.
Mmmmm. “buck naked” and “chocolate cake”. What were you saying?
Oh, right. … Yeah, panic attacks suck. Take care of yourself babe, and take your meds properly.
Panic attacks are so horrid. I’m glad the eggs and sugar were plentiful when you needed them.
I write to distract myself. Or sing. Loudly. With the windows open. To obscure 1970’s music where the lyrics are repeated over and over, like “Yuli, Yuli, come back to earth” and Kupu, Kupu, Butterfly, come teach me how to fly”.
I bake, mostly bread, doesn’t require lots of eggs and sugar.
Also dance to bad 90s music… Ice ice baby.
What a domestic goddess you are!
I have never mastered baking…I think I’m too impatient
Yep, bread is good for working the emotions out. Or chopping vegetablessss with a sssharp knife, my preciousss. I notice that my consumption of murder mysteries goes up as we get closer to the end of semester.
I cook too, usually something with chocolate and tons of sugar. If I’m lucky Nutella too. I probably could borrow some of my kid’s Chill The Fuck Out Pills™, but then he wouldn’t have any when he needed them… vicious cycle.
Me? I wander the streets begging for blow jobs.
wow that is a hell of a lot of cooking…. hope it helped.
Oh and I know this isn’t exactly up your blogs alley (or should I say street corner?) but can you blog a recipe for mexican burgers… sounds like something my lot would like!
Baking fixes everything, doesn’t it????
It’s my therapy of choice – the more chocolate and sugar involved, the better…..