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Where do you go when you go?

by Kelley

in a mind is a terrible thing to waste

Yeah, I kinda disappeared for a while.

Those new here would be all ‘what the fuck?’ and those that are not would know that I do this shit sometimes.

I just like, turn off.

There is no rhyme nor reason to it, sometimes I am overwhelmed by it all.

Sometimes I am just meh.

Sometimes I just have shit to do.

And sometimes I am totally attention seeking.

Apparently.

So where have I been?

Contemplating my misshapen navel mostly.

Doing shizzle around the house and fighting for services and supports for Boo.

Working long hours and avoiding being home.

And other shit.  BIG shit.

And dreaming about turning Moo’s old bedroom into a craft room.

I KNOW!  WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKNESS?

Don’t worry I am not fucking SCRAPBOOKING or VAJAZZLING

Seriously, that does NOT look like a happy smile… am I right?

I am doing SERIOUS SHIT like refinishing furniture and reupholstering and making a life size replica of myself to walk past and high five our awesomeness with the added benefit of freaking the fuck out of the kids.

And making a 3ft clock from scrap wood.

As you do…

So I have a room.

I have a freaking AWESOMELY MASSIVE teak desk that my friend just turned up with one night – my girl is crazy loco and just all of a sudden throws out all her furniture and buys new shit.  SCORE!

And a wet bar.

What else does a girl need in her ‘craft room’?

When ‘craft room’ equals room to hide in pretending to do shit when in reality she is just surfing for porn and anti wrinkle cream.

{BTW will be sending out the tattoos to mah biatches next week.  So if you want one – there are still a few left – leave a comment on the previous post}

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Good Golly Miss Holly! March 31, 2011 at 5:57 pm

I reckon the only person out there who would be chuffed to have diamonds hanging off her twot would be Paris Hilton because you know, she’s a blood sucking, gold digging whore and stuff.

Miss ya x

Reply

2 Good Golly Miss Holly! March 31, 2011 at 5:58 pm

*Missed ya. Eh. English seems to be my fourth language today. Fuck.

Reply

3 Nikki aka Widdle Shamrock March 31, 2011 at 6:01 pm

I scrapbook, but don’t vajazzle though I do Brazillians. (They are so tanned…..)

When you are hiding in your craft room next, email me, I have this great porn site. 🙂

And I want one of your tats.

Pretty please 🙂

Reply

4 Veronica March 31, 2011 at 6:23 pm

You need a mini-bar fridge, obviously. And a tim tam stash. And a lock.

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5 river March 31, 2011 at 7:12 pm

A teak desk? I’m so green with envy, I’m outshining your green shoes.

Mis-shapen navel? Stick a diamond in it……

I’d like a tattoo, well a couple if you can spare them, I know a couple of young girls here that would love them.

Reply

6 Fe March 31, 2011 at 7:25 pm

My eyes! My eyes! Make it go away! xoxo

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7 Ruby March 31, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Holy wow, awesome news . So will we get to see any of your creations… hmmm? You’d think the whole vajazzling, talk of porn and wet bar (don’t want to know) would have got me excited but NO it’s the idea of a whole room to do yourself! And a craft room at that. So you need a comfy lounge chair, some kind of music maker and some lovely art work on the walls oh and a book shelf and whatever else you need in there to make you smile.

So am I too late to score a tattoo?

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8 Parental Parody March 31, 2011 at 7:33 pm

God I love your posts. You are awesomeness incarnate. Extra hi-5 for the secret room (and not the poncey irritatingly perky kiddy entertainer type).

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9 Madmother March 31, 2011 at 7:42 pm

PMSL – thank God you are not vajazzling!

You do know Ms Ro directed me here with high recommendations… Just sayin.

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10 A Daft Scots Lass March 31, 2011 at 7:46 pm

I love vajazzlin!

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11 Fiona March 31, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Can you vajazzle me?

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12 Marylin March 31, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I dream of the days when I can have a “craft” room or, as some people call them, their studio. I think I like that term better… “I’m going to my studio, please don’t disturb me!”. 😉
Obviously you need at least a laptop if not a large pretty iMac in there, and a comfy chair to sit on at your desk/table/whatever.
And something that you can listen to music with, ipod plus speaker dock/computer.
Oooh, and maybe a mini-fridge for snacks and margaritas! 😉

Reply

13 Marylin March 31, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Oh dear god, and how could I forget this one… a LOCK. A big motherfucking lock that only you have the key for. Don’t want people going in and messing up *your* room!! 😉

Reply

14 Rusty Hoe March 31, 2011 at 8:00 pm

“A wet bar” is a euphemism, right? Vattooing freaks me the fuck out, far more than vajazzeling. Especially the pic I saw of Willy Nelsen, wrong, so wrong.

Oh shit was I supposed to send you an address or something to get my own biatch tat? i was just thinking it’d kinda turn up somehow, as you are magic and awesome and stuff.

Reply

15 Chookie March 31, 2011 at 9:17 pm

I once read A Room of One’s Own. I can’t remember any of it (I had a bad memory before I became a mother), but then I’ve never actually had such an animal. Just as well I have a back yard and a hat full of sky.
I suggest you sell your clock to Paul Keating.

Reply

16 Tat March 31, 2011 at 11:50 pm

I’d love a craft room, too, to do the same stuff that you use yours for.

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17 Caroline B March 31, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Oh how would love a room of my own. and there’s nothin wrong with scrapbooking 😛

the vajazzling thing is a bit WTF? Told hubby & he was meh why? didn’t tell him bout ur clock cause he has too many (why I have no idea)

oohh i would love a tatt too if u have any left. cause u r awesome & the world needs to know it 😀

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18 Rachel April 1, 2011 at 2:52 am

Love it. Fucking LOVE it.

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19 Tara R. April 1, 2011 at 10:31 am

This is the last summer I think my college kid will be living at home. This fall she’s off to grad school, then (hopefully) on to an independent life of her own. I’m pondering a remodel of her room too.

We had a huge, oak roll-top desk that would fit in there nicely – one we take her bed out.

Reply

20 Krissa April 1, 2011 at 12:10 pm

I have two children living here, ages 20 and 21. I see no reason for this ridiculous situation to continue. College or no college, tomorrow they are outta here! I will have a bar in one room and a massage table in the other.
Now I am in the market for a masseuse.

Reply

21 Toni April 1, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I was all like…bitch is attention seeking again. Trying to steal my thunder of having a stalker and shitty life at the moment. Lets just disappear for a few days and leave them all hanging… Vagina Bling sounds painful..the hot glue gun would hurt I reckon, when you stuck the dazzles on….I am assuming you use a hot gue gun.

Anyway back to me…I sent a message on my iPhone today that I didnt spell check. And I sent “Only if you Wang”, instead of “Only if you want”. Awkward.

Reply

22 Amanda April 1, 2011 at 8:31 pm

I’m sorry, did you say “craft room”???
Bwahahaha
Obviously , you need a stylish, yet comfortable couch, mini-bar, TV, internet access and a bloody big lock on the door ….

Reply

23 pixie April 1, 2011 at 10:01 pm

I have a craft room…………….I go in there to create (ahem hide) some days.its good for the soul!

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24 burghbaby April 2, 2011 at 2:41 am

I think by “craft room” you actually mean “vajazzling room.” We all know you like to get creative and need room to spread out. Ahem.

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25 Sam @ Learn. Create. Do. April 2, 2011 at 3:19 pm

You gotta get a lock. In fact I’ve gotta get a lock too. Graviee always raids my room. It’s great to have a room to escape.

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26 Murfomurf April 2, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Kraftwerk room? You’ll need big speakers! Personally, I prefer Rammstein, but there’s no accounting for taste when its your very own room.

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27 Lauren April 2, 2011 at 10:27 pm

http://www.catherinedeveny.com/columns/2011/3/8/international-womens-day-vajazzling.html

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28 Beet April 4, 2011 at 12:42 am

great score with the furniture!

I needs me a fucking craft room to surf porn in 😉

Reply

29 Bronnie April 4, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Wow, my vagina looks nothing like that. Clearly, I’ve been missing out…

Reply

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