So I was going to post an Emo whine whine look at me I am all fucking Emo and shit post, but then decided against it cause I don’t even want to be around me right now… so why would you?
Obviously because under all this depressive teen wanna be Emo shit I am still fucking awesome.
Today I removed myself from all human contact because I was a bees dick away from stripping naked and cartwheeling down the halls singing ‘I’m a teapot, I’m a a teapot! I AM A MOTHERFUCKING TEAPOT BITCHES!’ and I am pretty sure that might be a tad inappropriate in an officelike setting.
Like your Crocs bitch. OMG do I have to DRESS YOU?
I actually said that.
Methinks I need to do some self medicating tonight with a bottle of tequila and a double cheeseburger, fries and extra mustard.
No Emo post.
You are welcome.
But here a a few things that have kept me entertained the last couple of weeks when I have been hiding from the internetz lest I scream at bints on Twitter and Facebook to SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THE FUCKING WHINING OMG OMG OMG ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS THAT YOU ARE WHINING ABOUT THAT? IMMA GUNNA COME OVER THERE AND REMOVE YOUR PANCREAS THROUGH YOUR NASAL CAVITY. THEN YOU WILL HAVE SHIT TO WHINE ABOUT WHEN YOU HAVE FUCKING DIABETES BITCH.
But I didn’t because using all caps is rude.
from xkcd. This is STILL cracking me up.
OMG OMG OMG this is fanfuckingtastic. I have a big fat girly crush on this chick but I hope like fuck she doesn’t find my blog and bastardization of the English language.
Yeah, I know everyone has seen this already. Still cracking my shizzle up even if some are obviously made up. And I can feel all superior cause I don’t have that happen to me because I am the only person on the motherfucking planet that still doesn’t have an iPhone. But I am not bitter. Not bitter AT ALL.
And I have been making outlandish quite reasonable Wish Lists on Amazon in preparation for winning millions in the lottery this weekend. Because CLEARLY I have been doing it wrong with my ‘win the lottery’ shit cause I won like 40 bucks the other week and TECHNICALLY that is winning the lottery.
Damn literal fucking Universe.
So, my lovelies, share what has entertained you lately because I am running out of things to distract me and no one wants me naked cartwheeling down the street because sunburn on your vulva hurts.