You know what that is?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW?
My heart, she squeezes.
My eyes, they leak.
My brain, it goes to all sorts of horrible places.
Involving broken bones
and big spiders
and drop bears.
And waking in the middle of the night needing his mummy.
Yes, my lovelies, that is Boo’s suitcase for camp.
Tomorrow he hops on a bus with 80 other children and goes to camp.
TWO HOURS AWAY.
*insert stifled freaking the fuck out noise here*
And then I pick him up the next afternoon.
What is that I hear there? Are they giggles? Did I hear a ‘for fucks sake IT IS ONE NIGHT Helicopter Mother!’
I wear my blades with pride.
Yes. He is only going for one night.
Yes. He will be sleeping in a separate room with his aide.
Yes. He will be supervised at all times and will not be going anywhere near the lake.
BUT. There will be horses.
AND TWO HOURS AWAY FROM HIS MUMMY!
A mummy that may be just going out to dinner for the first time in like a YEAR with her husband. HUZZAH!
A mummy that will be able to sleep without the soundtrack of Flashdance ringing in her ears the whole damn night.
A mummy that wont be woken up in the middle of the night with a boy wrapped in a blanket bursting into her room to use the ensuite toilet whilst singing the soundtrack of Flashdance.
A mummy that will get a freaking SLEEP IN IN THE MORNING OMG OMG OMG OMG!
The next morning I get to drive an over four hour round trip to pick him up.
Hopefully not molested by wildlife and all his limbs intact.
And I will be bringing his aide a Kelley Special – double shot latte in a milkshake cup.
Cause she is gunna need it after a night with my Boo.