Yeah, I am still alive.
I have mah music up loud and shakin’ mah booty while colouring and forming a butt ton of fondant, baking eleventy billion cakes and making my own damn decorations.
Bow to my awesomeness.
And I cleaned my skirting boards as well as other superfluous (FAVOURITE WORD ALERT!) activities because I HAVE LOST MY DAMN MOTHERFUCKING MIND.
TWO completely different parties in one day with ONE FUCKING HOUR between them?
Mind has left the building eating a banana sammich. With bacon.
Did I tell you I MADE BACON out of fondant?
Prepare for your mind to be blown COMPLETELY APART and splattered on the walls with an awesome splooging sound.
I love that sound.
I am pretty sure that is what unicorn meat tastes like.
And you know something else? When I was shooing the little fuckers out of my blog and cleaning up their deposits of faecal matter all over the place I broke my stats whomathingamahboobiewhatchamacallit and OMG I really don’t care! I have NO FUCKING IDEA how many people have visited and left without saying ‘hi’ or ‘fuck I wish I was awesome as you’ or ‘please be buying my *insert whatthefuckever here*’ and it is surprisingly awesome.
I might just turn comments off.
Heh. Yeah right. I NEED my biatches.
And speaking of needing my biatches, apparently it is supposed be torrential flooding rain on Saturday. Could you work your magic and do me a little anti rain boogie? I need it to be nice sunny weather so I can chuck the little fuckers outside to ensure the best possible parties for my angelic children.
You can do your dance to any music you choose, The Sex Pistols are only a suggestion…
But as long as it is not anything by Katie Perry.
Or that skank Keisha.
Unless it is the MummySings Remix version ‘Your Butt, Your Butt, Your Butt is my Butt’