So it is Saturday. Thank fucking God, cause this week has been so full on you wouldn’t even know, probably because SOMEONE is so freaking brain dead that she THOUGHT she was updating you all about all the DRAMA and EXPENSE and SNOT of the last few days but it turns out that SOMEONE actually only wrote the blog posts in her head and not on the actual, like, BLOG.
Sorry about that.
And then that SOMEONE had a look at the blog and was all FUCK ME DEAD I haven’t updated since TUESDAY?
I totally think that someone needs a kick up the rear, or a belt across the head, or someone to send her boat loads of cash.
So here is my week in a nutshell. Unless you are allergic to nuts and then here is a tissue to wrap it in. Sorry it has been used.
MONDAY: I went to see a shrink. Well, technically, he is just a counsellor. Whatevz. I went to see a dude to pay him cash to act like he is interested in hearing all my shit. We ended up talking about Boo and he used to work with a behaviorist chick and he is going to call her to see if she can help out with Boo. So W00T! And not because I showed him my boobs and then smeared the walls in snot. Seems the guy was really really interested cause I was there for 2 and a half hours instead of just one.
Nothing at all to do with the fact that I stripped naked and told him I was a teapot.
Tuesday: Well you know what happened on Tuesday. Arsehat.
Wednesday: took Moo to get her dress for the school formal. Her final year of school formal. Kinda like a Prom, and we ALL KNOW what happens at Prom thankyouverymuch80’steenflicksOMGIamnotreadytobeagrandparent. She liked 3 dresses. I really liked the aubergine $110 dress. She decided that she really liked the plain black $230 dress. We compromised and she got the $230 dress and I sucked it up and paid for it. That is what compromising with a teenager who has a boyfriend with a CAR and lives in the city looks like, parents of toddlers.
Wednesday finished with Boo attacking his teachers. Good times people, good times…
And there was snot. Lots and lots of snot.
Thursday: Something happened on Thursday. I am choosing to believe that I pulled a unicorn from my arse and the crowd cheered. And when I blew my nose it was rainbows and glitter.
Friday: Work and then went to a school performance. Where I watched my daughter do an interpretive play about music and teenagers or something but all I can remember is the simulated sex scene with her best friend and then her friend gave birth. To Moo. Yeah, I am still confused.
Which brings us to Saturday. I got up and sat down and that is about it.
Tonight Boo is throwing a family party. Dubbed ‘The Sleepover Party’ there will be streamers and balloons, fairy cakes and pizza, and we all have to sleep in the loungeroom.
Pray for me.