See the category I used for this post? Shit, I crack my own shit up.
Like how I finally got moved from the Emergency Department to the wards after 4 days and my room mate went home and left me a little present in the toilet to remember her by.
And now I have to pay 8 bucks a day for tv, when in the ER it was fucking free.
And how the food ain’t got no better but the portions seem to be getting smaller so either the doc has told them to slim my stroking arse down or they just got sick of me wasting all that food.
Like how I am on blood pressure tablets and blood thinners but my blood pressure is low and apparently something about my blood clotting slower than it should. Someone wanna esplain that to me?
Like how now I am up to 21 vials of blood drawn, 3 ultrasounds, a CT Scan and a failed MRI
Like how I hate that fucking MRI and I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK but I have to cause I am a sooky fucking panic ridden idiot and if I had just grown some fucking balls and sucked it up and been a man and just gritted my teeth and bared it I would be home right now slugging back Pina Coladas.
Like how I cannot get this song out of my head.
cause I am a sick bitch and when Moo was complaining about being tired or something (I wasn’t listening cause I don’t have to cause I am POORLY) I turned to her and said ‘I had a stroke. I win’
Like how I need to finish up, pack up my laptop and go home for my birthday party (albeit very late, for those arsehats that didn’t mark the birth of the awesome one in your calendars, it was Thursday) and a nice long shower in my own shower with my own towels that have not been used at some stage to wipe up someones excrement. Well someone not related to me anyway.
and hope like fuck that no one is sitting in that bed next to me when I get back. Mumma needs her beauty sleep.