Yesterday I was all Awesome Mummy and took Moo to the Mecca of stationery, Smiggle.
And I opened my purse and dumped the entire contents on the counter so she could have fucking AWESOME notebooks and pretties for her final year of high school.
*sob*
Only the day after MPS went to the textbook store and emptied the contents of his wallet and bent over and signed over the deed to my parents house to purchase the textbooks for Moo’s final year of high school and Too’s 3rd last year of highschool.
And then there were all the school bags and essentials like new shoes and purses. For me. Of course.
Before the end of the month I need to pay a butt load of school fees, and buy new uniforms cause these damn kids keep GROWING and all the pens and paper and art supplies and Oh My Fucking God does it never end?
The thing that pisses me off the most is every second year the school changes the text books. So the books that I bought for Moo are now no longer relevant for Too, so I have to go and buy the same fucking text books in the newer version at 100 bucks each.
I mean, someone please explain to me how Chemistry and Biology and MATH for crying out loud, can change so much in a year necessitating in a whole new curriculum and my shoe fund being DECIMATED buying these fucking books that they barely use anyway?
Thank Goddess and Oprah that Too will be using the same calculator that Moo used cause that baby cost 218 dollars.
TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN DOLLARS FOR A CALCULATOR, when they just Google the answer anyway…
Well that is what I tell them to do when they ask me questions.
Cause, dude, I am waaaaaaay too busy being fabulous, fucking around on the internetz, to be worrying about Pysics Psychics Physics finding the spell check on WordPress 2.7 to be doing their damn homework. I didn’t do my own, what makes them think I can do theirs?
Now every available cent is going on the Damn Emos and the Tiny Terrorist to prepare them for the new school year so I don’t get annoying phone calls from the school all Whiney McWhinerson that the kids don’t have the proper shit for them to sit around and bitch to their friends while the teacher surfs the dating sites on her computer.
Ergo no money for shoes chocolate pretty shiny things food.
Technically we do have money for food, but not the expensive gourmet shit that we prefer. We are going to have to go back to the bad old days of when MPS was sick. As God as my witness I will never eat that crap again!
So I thought, fuck this, I am an intelligent woman. I can google. Google cheap meals!
*smacks head repeatedly with the keyboard*
Um. All these chicks are feeding their families on 5 bucks a DAY? What are they? MUTANTS? I am struggling to get the meat portion of the main meal under ten bucks and they are feeding their whole fucking family, with snacks, for the cost of a double shot extra large skinny latte?
Mmmmmm coffee…
Fuck it. If I stop feeding the bastards they may fit into last years uniform and mummy can go and get her fix.
{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow- how come I’m even broker and no kids to drain the resources?? Oh well- at least I didn’t get grey hairs… kids give the to ya, nyah, nyah!!
Kay’s last blog post..Little Trip to Nairne
I work with people who test the Shuttle engines. The new rocket engines for the next generation space craft are just like the ones that sent man to the moon. I asked, why don’t you guys build something that looks like Star Wars instead of that old junk? They said the physics hasn’t changed. So, to prove your point. You are correct.
I have 500 lbs of books from my college days I keep hauling around. Can’t use them anywhere. What, am I back to being stupid?
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Cat Cam
I’m sitting here eating macadamia nut cookies my sister sent me from Hawaii and I keep posting to see if I can get that crack thing-a-ma-bob in your sidebar to list me – I’m playing the numbers.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Cat Cam
Hey would you like me to pick up your mail since I’m camped on your doorstep?
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Cat Cam
I can’t let the freaky weird Lceel kick my ass.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Cat Cam
🙂 I’m in.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Cat Cam
Is this a private school? Even at our schools, they supplied the books (til college). CRAZINESS.
Ashley’s last blog post..Paparazzi Love…Or something
No. Its a PUBLIC school!
Ron, you are insane. I love insane. But I love the idea of you and lceel getting into a bitch fight on my blog. RAWR.
Lentils
spotrick’s last blog post..My “Best” Photos of 2008
Yup, that’s the problem…stop feeding them and they won’t grow out of their clothes!
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..Take A Cue From Me
Lceel’s a buddy. He has a great blog.
Audubon Ron’s last blog post..Cat Cam
There’s got to be a line here somewhere about this being a Kevvy-led plan to tackle childhood obesity by ensuring that the kids can’t afford to eat more than a bag of carrots a day … but it escapes me.
Personally, I’m rebelling against the cost of Year 1 (!!) by NOT buying the regulation school dress for Miss K. (Public schools can’t enforce uniform regs).
Amanda’s last blog post..I am a terrible mother
School is overrated. Knowing good wine from bad wine is a skill that lasts a lifetime. I know cause I went to school and they didn’t teach me shit about wine and now I am drinking shitty wine.
And when I have to choose between stuff the kids “need” and stuff I “need” (read liquor) I know it’s time to get the kids jobs.
Kel’s last blog post..Free fruit snacks?
Oh, and Smiggle makes me giggle.
2 minute noodles.
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
or left over lettuce leaves from the green grocers.
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
Yeah, what is it with the text books??? When I was in primary school I had text books that were so old the spines were hanging off or held on with packing tape, inside the front covers were long lists of previous owners names to which I proudly added mine. Similar thing in high school, except we had to buy them. Primary school ones were free for us poor people who couldn’t afford fees and stuff. When my kids were in school it was new books most years because we moved a lot and different states had different curriculums.
Feed teh Bunneh and the ankle biters with the same handful of greenery!
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
Kel, Kel, Kel,
have I taught you nothing? When life hands you lemons, shove them up it’s arse and reach for the vodka bottle.
This is what Donna and I are enjoying now: the chocolate vodka slushy! Into the blender, place
1/4 bottle creme de cacao
1/5 bottle of Absolut Vanilla
a couple of tablespoons of sugar
1 tray of icecubes
Blend, drink. All money worries leave you far behind, because basically you are soon too pissed to count 🙂
Yours, Andrew
Andrew Boyd’s last blog post..I is for Inspiration (and why it is important to know your motivation to blog)
The text books are usually written by other teachers/uni lecturers and they boost each other’s bank account every 2 years with new text books.
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
It’s 2009, aren’t hessian sacks still in fashion ? 😛
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
Let the kids write in the dirt, isn’t that what the school provides all that ground for anyway?
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
Can’t you just unleash the kids and let ’em graze in a near-by paddock at lunchtime?
Jayne’s last blog post..Sleep in Trivial History Sunday January 18
Heh, no sympathy for you.
Why do the damn emos need designer pretties for school? Does this make them learn any better? And what frigging calculator costs that much? In NSW for the highest level maths (yep, it’s maths, we live in Australia) physics and chemistry there is a standard calculator that costs $21. If you use anything else, you can’t do the exam.
anja’s last blog post..And why do you think I would find your screaming shit machine cute?
I CANNOT believe that in your public schools you have to buy your own books! Don’t you guys pay a SHITLOAD of taxes?? I thought you did anyway….books are such a racket…I try to avoid having my students buy them if I can help it….
Try sweet and sour meatballs…easy and quick and feeds a group…
1 can of whole berry cranberries
1 bottle of chili sauce and a bottle of water after you dumped the sauce
mix all together in a pot and heat
make little meatballs with about 1- 1 1/2 pounds (sorry, don’t know kilos or grams or WTF) and toss them in the cooking sauce mix…let it go for about 45 minutes and serve over rice…CANNOT lose and really rather cheap.
ick, whoever that was that suggested lentils as food must be crazy. lentils is not food.
k’s last blog post..And One More Thing I Want To Show You Today
What the fuck is with the, here’s you’re school fee bill for a bagillion dollars and you should pay it in the same month you bought all of the uniforms and the books and crap. Our public high school also wants to take the kids on a camp in Feb and we are to pay for that this month too. Fuckers.
Ali’s last blog post..Saturdays with me
Using 500g mince, packet mushrooms, some frozen peas, 1kg pkt spaghetti, an apple, a carrot and a bottle of pasta bake sauce I’ve made dinner for tonight, lunch for tomorrow and dinner for tomorrow night. All with slight variations of ingredients. Was feeling very proud of my economy.
All my $s went on awesome shoes for my girls to wear to school, who cares what the stationery looks like so long as they have awesome shoes 😀
I am just freaked out that a booklist – with no actual BOOKS on it, I might add – for a Grade One kid is over $100. Oh, and they most graciously and kindly tell you that you have like two days to decide 1) yes I will get the entire order from the official supplier or 2) no I will try and get stuff for the cheapness. And if you go option two, you still have to get some official school stuff from the official supplier and just for fun you have to attempt to order it on their website…
But I am quietly excited my kid is more or less big enough to just have stubbies at $10 a pair instead of the oh so much more fabulous shorts from the official uniform shop… Sometimes I think Bogan Central Primary School may have been the better option!
Jodi’s last blog post..Zen and the Art of Car Maintenance (or things that make me go GRARGH)
Dude, I hope you are happy linking to that stationery. Because I am a stationery whore and I will now spend hours upon hours planning what I can get and how I can organise it.
Kelly’s last blog post..I’m getting organised! (There’s a sentence I’d never thought I’d say.)
That damn calculator! I KNOW! I don’t know if it’s the same calculator, but it’s a fucking expensive calculator for a teenager who is never going to use it and will promptly lose it! ARGH!
Kylie’s last blog post..My Daughter Has Minions
I love smiggle…
Strangely, I have a degree in physics and the only place that would hire me is the liquor store…which like you was problematic because I don’t know the difference between fantastic and crap wine. le sigh.
Deidre’s last blog post..Good Day…I Said Good Day.
smiggle schmiggle.
My 14yo is obsessed. No one else out here in the sticks even knows what the hell a smiggle is! Only her with her big city, brand name smarts knows so it aint going to elevate her coolness status any out here. lol
Mistress B’s last blog post..Simple Pleasures Sunday
oh and if 2 minute noodles aren’t the go then cheap Aldi brand spaghetti on toast
Or baked beans.
and if they complain then you inform them that bunnies are omnivores and if they don’t shut the hell up and eat what they are served then you will slice and dice them and serve them to Amy the rabbit
😉
Pssst Jayne!
You going for comment queen today? 😉 😛
I love Smiggle but can’t go near the place at the moment due to very severe money drought! It doesn’t stop me from planning what I want to buy next though.
EJ’s schools stuff for Year 3 minus some stuff that he had kept in good nick from Year 2 (bless him) was about $128.
I’m not looking forward to highschool
a.) Because it is not looking like we’ll be able to afford the school I’d like to send them too.
b.) Imagine how much textbooks and stuff will cost then!!!!
Ours change too.
And, my year has the rough end of the stick with curriculum changes. We started in yr 10, these brand spanking new curriculums for Maths and Science that the government was super proud of. It took them.. oh, roughly 3 months to decide they didn’t like it, and would change it for next year, withdrawing every little bit of information about ours (More for Maths than science), so our teachers didn’t have a scooby doo about what they were supposed to focus on.
And now, we’re doing brand new A level courses that nobody has ever done before. So we don’t have any proper mocks for them either. *Dies*
Kath’s last blog post..Hi/Lo Thursday
Ack! What the hell ever happened to a regular calculator? $218.00?! Thats insane! Does it actually DO the homework for them and then make dinner for the family? Cause thats the only way I’d pay that much for it.
Sarah’s last blog post..And it begins….
We save money on food by buying all the Walmart brand crap. It’s cheaper. We usually get one of two packs of chicken for the month, as well as enough hamburger for a meal or two. We also get fruit and veggies in cans instead of fresh.
Yeah, it sucks! On the plus side, I don’t have to pay anything for school for my spawnlets yet!
Final year eh?
Hmmm.
Do those pumps come in granny style?
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..So I can blame you
Wanna know how I feed my family on $5 a day?
Coupons.
Well, coupons and a VERY low-cut shirt and male cash register attendant.
Also, with the low cut-ness you can stuff some shit in there … you know, 5 finger (and 2 boob) discount.
Maternal Mirth’s last blog post..A Perfect Movie Night (Almost)
in my country we don’t have school fees, only if you go to private schools
lid’s last blog post..Dating Prince William?
Here in the states, the govt pays for the books. I don’t think for much longer tho.
Those $5/meal bitches use the other $15 it takes on their crack habit b/c there ain’t NO WAY you can feed a family of 4 or 5 w/ $5 every day. Maybe every now and then when Mama says, “It’s cereal for dinner day!” b/c I spent the last few bucks on a mani/pedi, THEN I can count that as a $1/meal day.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]’s last blog post..Weekly Winners 1.11 – 1.17: WiiFit Talkin Smack Edition
High schools books are costing so much, Can’t say exactly what knowledge they exactly provide.
Patricia
Hey don’t knock the cereal for dinner. One of my all time fav. meals is cereal for dinner, right after eating whipped cream straight from the can and just before ‘screw it, lets get McDonalds’.
I laugh at nearly every post 🙂
Noblejoker’s last blog post..Christmas Message 2008
Yeah, those people scare me. I’ve gotten pretty good with actually making a list before I go to the store and I now spend about $50 less per week than I did without a less. But, I am nowhere near 5 bucks a day. No way.
Karly’s last blog post..Perhaps I Should Find Another Hobby
It’s bad enough that we should have to spend good wine and shoe money on luxuries like school uniforms and books, but apparently parents have to feed their kids good food too. Next they’ll be expecting us to cough up for other mortgage-requiring items like medical fees and pharmacy items. Couldn’t we just keep them in a kennel and toss them the occasional bone? Oh wait, that’s dogs.
dizzymum’s last blog post..And so this was Christmas …
I asked SWMBO and she told me that that’s the reason my Art Supply budget is so depleted. So it isn’t just you. It isn’t just Australia. It’s apparently a massive, world-wide conspiracy.
And yes, Audubon Ron is a buddy.
lceel’s last blog post..Frozen Over
GAH! More than $200 for a calculator?! My fingers are free and I still count on them. Granted, I get the answers wrong half the time, so I guess you get what you pay for in that repect!
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)’s last blog post..dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Quite a few recipe ideas for you up there ^. Here’s what you do. Take one ingredient from each idea, mix all in a large bowl, (cook only if necessary), put it in the middle of the table, hand each child a spoon. Retire to your corner with the vodka. Continue daily until all ingredient combinations have been tried.
Well … I just got *my* booklist for the course I’m doing this year: $335 for 5 books.
Bloody Hell!
Amanda’s last blog post..That bloke that does the silly dance on the tele
When did it become “math” in Victoria, or are you a badly-disguised Seppo? 😛
I haven’t paid for anything yet, apart from the voluntary fee, two homework books and uniforms. Wondering if this is the year we start buying stuff — DS1 is going into Year 3.
Chookie’s last blog post..A Drink for Just-Past-Bloom-Day
I know! What the fuck was up with the MATH? I know it is MathS in Australia. But by the time I published and all the Aussies starting bitching at me it was too late.
I spelt physics wrong too if you noticed…
Damn I suck. I know.
I hear you sister. i just spent this months money and next on all the school stuff. My head is spinning at the thought of it. My kids better do something bloody remarkable with their lives, i tell you.
tiff’s last blog post..I never knew…
Hey Kelley,
Sell those old text books! I use halfprice.com.
And food.
Well, beans are versatile!
Miss Ash’s last blog post..Dear Pressure
Who needs to eat ?
Widdle Shamrock’s last blog post..Saw the Movie, Read the Books, Now I have to get a T~Shirt
I can totally feed my family on $5. It’s called cereal and milk. Balanced diets are TOTALLY overrated.
BTW, something changed. Your site is now loading suuuuuuper fast for me. Like, really, really, really fast. Rock on!
Burgh Baby’s last blog post..Here We Go!
$5 a day? piece of cake.
that’s it.
a. piece. of. cake.
that’s all you need, right?
the planet of janet’s last blog post..The drive to drive
Ummm… You have to buy your kids textbooks in High School? *scratches head*
Why doesn’t the school provide that shit?
Oh at Sam’s Club you can get 2 whole roasting/ frying chickens for under $7.00… Roasted chicken is a good meal and eating cheap is all about deal hunting. We buy in bulk and make so much more from scratch theses days to keep food expenses down.
Talina’s last blog post..Blogging the real me to make you (and me) feel better.
It got to the point where I stopped selling my books back, and stopped buying the new ones I needed for class. I would buy them on a need basis rather than a “you should have these 3 books for my class” basis
The system definitely needs an overhaul…
Jason’s last blog post..Barack Obama is Not Your Messiah
Yes, because math is so different every year. It’s a conspiracy by the publishers. You need to slip into that ninja suit and go adjust some attitudes.
Jim’s last blog post..He Blogs, She Blogs…the Sixth
for a calculator????? Oh gad. I think my kids might be outta luck on a education. Maybe I should start thinking of pimp and stripper names now.
Jeez, you’re doing alright – I’m not even 100% sure when mine start back in term 1.
Better get onto that!
Distance Ed has it’s advantages – no books needed – at all.
G
xx
myst’s last blog post..It was the best of days, and it was the best of days 🙂