Remember I decreed that this is the year of Fucking Awesome?
So far. So Fucking Awesome.
This week has been a week of firsts.
First first being the first, is this little family went on a holiday.
You are all, meh, we went to Disney land last week. And I would be all I raise your Disney and shit all over it cause we went down the road to the next town and stayed in a motel for the night.
And were home by 11am the next day.
Hang on. Put like that it doesn’t sound so freaking awesome.
But it was. With a butt load of exclamation marks and unicorns shitting chocolate.
Cause we haven’t been on a holiday for years. Because of Boo’s fears and phobias we need to be home doing the same old same old, every freaking night.
Disney don’t sound so freaking fabulous now does it, biatches?
We stayed in a motel that cost the equivalent of my food budget for a fortnight. We ate nothing but junk food.
We played on the internet, watched TV and did the same old same old. But in a different place.
Now Boo wants to go on another holiday. And I am jumping out of my fucking skin with excitement.
Cause this time we could go like, an hour away from home or something.
I could go on and on about the awesomeness of the significance of this milestone. Boo squeezed out every single second, sleeping about an hour, and doing my head in with the endless playing of Spongebob on both the DVD players, but I need to move on to the second piece of awesomicity.
It is so a word.
Boo has been eating gluten. And his shit is solidifying. Oh Mah Fucking Gawd, I have never ever been so happy to see a solid (ish) turd floating in the bowl in my life.
I was all ‘HELLO!!! Little turd! I love you little turd. You are totally like my favourite thing in the whole wide world! I would kiss you if you weren’t, well, an almost solid piece of excrement’
Boo eating gluten is like winning the grocery budget lottery. Hoping like fuck that this little experiment yields something that I have been wishing for for over 8 years.
Eating normal foods. How fucking AWESOME would that be?
Well, we will find out when we get the results of the blood test back.
Which brings me to the next bit of awesomicity.
Boo had a blood test. And he fucking rocked it like a rock star. Even when the procedure deviated from the carefully prepared story I wrote in preparation, even when we had to stop and come back again cause he didn’t have enough fluid in his veins, even when the stupid ratfucksonofabitch Emla cream didn’t work and then we had to go over to the other arm anyway…
He fucking ROCKED IT.
And it didn’t take 4 of us to hold him down. And no nurses were knocked out. Or punched. Like last time.
When he was 2.
(BTW the test was for coeliac disease, thyroid function and lead levels. The latter cause Boo has a penchant for eating toys from China. And lead. And coffee tables.)
So to celebrate we took him shopping and bought him a whole punnet of strawberries and a bunch of grapes for his very own.
Cause that is how Boo rolls.
So to recap. Family holiday – rocked. Almost solid turd waving from the bowl – rockage. Rock Star Boo rocking the blood test -freaking awesome.
And my shoes were fucking awesome too.