Today is the best day of the year.
Like Christmas, my birthday and that time that I got those freaking awesome kick arse shoes for $100 off while the feral beside me was stupefied and horrified and a-whole-lotta-fied at my cartwheels in the store aisle, all rolled into one.
Today, my lovelies, is Day of the Ninja.
All over the world Ninja are celebrating their Ninjarifficness. It is like Halloween for Ninja.
I remember reading once about some guy who kept noticing that his milk was missing, and probably his cat, I can’t remember, but anyway turns out he had a small Japanese woman living in his wardrobe and he didn’t even know. He would go to work and she would use her stealth Ninja moves to eat all his icecream and he would come home and be all ‘what the hell?’ and probably went to the doctor worried he was sleep-eating or something but he just had his own little pocket Ninja.
But beware. Day of the Ninja is when the Ninja come out and cause mischief on your arse.
I got home from work, started stripping at the door, as you do, to get into something more comfortable. More fabulously fabulous rather than damn awesome corporate. As you do. And I felt a breeze brush past me.
A familiar feeling washed over me.
The bitch is back.
Ninja Bitch. The same bitch that tried to steal my formally-known-as-the-Bathroom-Tree™-now-hallway-tree last year.
But I was ready.
I cartwheeled and commando crawled into my bedroom (no mean feat in 1 six inch heel and my shirt half off) threw on some Ninja hunting clothes and grabbed the camera.
I saw a black shadow leave the hallway.
She was after Exhibit B!!! (You don’t know the story of Exhibit B yet, my lovelies, but you soon will when I unleash my Christmas Madness) Quick as a flash I was in the family room, camera poised at Exhibit B,
and there she was. Bitch. Ninja Bitch.
In serious need of a an eyebrow wax.
Then OMG!!! The Pokemon tree!
It was then I realised The Bitches caper. She wanted to be a Christmas Ninja. So I wandered around taking pics of some of my Christmas decorations and wouldn’t you know it? Every single shot had my Ninja.
But I do feel sorry for the Ninja. She obviously wants to be part of the Christmas magic that is Chez Magnetobold.
There you go Ninja. A stocking just for you.
Now stop eating all my damn icecream bitch.