I have blogged about Boo’s fascination with his excrement before.
The fecal murals that adorned our bathroom. The hallway. The lounge.
His insistence on running his hands all over my face, the haze of freshly squeezed turd wafting from those fingers precariously close to my mouth.
His reluctance to use toilet paper, preferring freshly laundered doonas.
For my overseas lovelies, it is like a quilt, comforter, blanket, duvet.
This is a doona after Boo has gone to the toilet. Actually it is two. Two of the three I washed today.
But today I am going to talk about my toothbrush.
Your toothbrush you say? What the fuck does that have to do with shit?
Those that have been following along with me for the last year (yes! I am almost there! Like 3 weeks away) will be sniggering and running their tongues over their clean teeth.
Boo found my toothbrush. Cause I hide it. Cause Boo finds my toothbrush rather useful…
I discovered the extra curricular activity of my toothbrush one sunny day. I was apparently in a good mood, but the sources were unreliable so take that with a grain of salt, and innocently wandered into the bathroom to find a sight that would send you screaming to wash your mouth out with acid.
Boo, leg up on the bath, scrubbing his sphincter with my toothbrush. Apparently queen sized bedding just doesn’t cut it sometimes.
So ever since my toothbrush has been in hiding. Cause that minty arse freshness is only achieved with MY toothbrush, every one else’s brushes are in a nice little container on the counter. Mine is hidden in the cupboard behind the hair dye and spare deodorants.
Occasionally I will find it on the floor beside the toilet. I retch, wash my mouth out until my gums bleed, and add toothbrushes to the shopping list. And think of another hiding spot.
He smiles innocently at me. He is all ‘whaaat?’
It seemed that he had gotten over the need for extra arse scrubbing cause my toothbrush had not been moved from its protective hiding spot. But my shiny toothed world would soon be shattered…
I found him putting the fucker back in the cupboard.
But he also had Moo’s toothbrush.
Bwaaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaa!
So Moo and I are hiding our toothbrushes. In the pantry with the sweet potato. Cause we know he ain’t gunna be wiping his arse with that right?
Apparently I spent a lot of time sleeping with chicks at BlogHer. Nice, clean, non-shit-encrusted bedding. Bliss
Plain Jane Mom blogged about it here.
as did the lovely Crunchy Carpets.
So this is what clean bedding looks like then?
and if you want a laugh please go over and check out my biatch Lunasea. What she did to me is the funniest thing I have read in ages. The chick is crazy but all about safety first.