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whiney mcwhinerson

Today I have my cranky pants on. And they make my arse look huge and give me a camel toe which totally makes me crankier.

I will preface this rant of crankypantage with the disclaimer that I have my period. Every few months because of the whole Belly Explosion Of 2010 (well technically it was happening way before that but that is when I knew for sure I wasn’t just having phantom labour pains every few months) I get a [...]

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Shit meet fan. Bring an umbrella.

So last time I whined I was all ‘woe is me my work fucking sucks and I hate them all and I wish I never had to go back’ And the universe was hiding behind the curtains cackling its fucking head off. Cause it seems that a solution has been reached. But in the worst [...]

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I cried at work today.

Thrice. Out of pure frustration. Frustration at myself, because I know this work it is just my stupid fucking brain that won’t catch up. Frustration at my boss because he just won’t cut me a break. Frustration at the self important fucking mole that has decided that she will not speak to me because of [...]

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So now I just need to discover that MPS is my cousin, buy some Crocs and my transformation is complete.

I guess I should change my name to Schapelle now and getz me some jeggin’s. Check it. Back windscreen held together with CONTACT AND DUCT TAPE. A new one is going to take a while to get here. Invitations to the hoe down are in the mail. Fuck. Rate this post biatches.Awesome (0) Fabulous (0) WTF (4) [...]

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My arse explode.

Today I have chucked a sickie. I am pretty sure that my workmates are glad that I have chosen to stay home today. Considering the whole gurgling stomach that drowns out the television and the running to the toilet like my arse is on fire. Which it is by the way thankyouverymuchforyourconcern. MPS is home [...]

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whatever you do you’re fucked.

Post. Don’t post. Twitter. Don’t twitter. Fuck me dead I cannot win. Attention seeking. Not thinking of your friends who care and want to know what is going on. Boring woe is me whinger. Downer blogger. Seriously, what the fuck do you want from me? Seriously. I am asking. Cause I am clueless. Rate this [...]

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pretty sure the lepers of the world are all ‘day-um woman, you are a mess’

I am falling to pieces. Or to be accurate I am ADDING pieces. New weird moles are popping up all over my body, or ones that used to be flat are now raised, not to mention the dark red fucker that has just appeared on my CHEEK. I am just recovering from a massive zit [...]

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The coffee machine broke down so I spent my paycheck on a latte. I wish I was joking.

{source} So yesterday I went to work. It sucked. I have to go and see their doctors to prove I was ill. Despite the fact I had doctors certificates AND I was on long service leave which I should be allowed to spend any fucking way I like. Sure I would have preferred to spend [...]

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PSA: Smiling is bad for you.

Someone said to me once ‘smile, your face won’t break’ Arsehole. My ‘resting’ face is a somewhat downturned lip. So I COULD be perceived as frowning. I am totally cool with this as my friends ‘resting’ face makes her look like she just stepped in a fresh dog turd with no shoes on so standing [...]

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No Vacancy

I don’t know what it is about me, maybe the fact that I had children so young so was thrust into the nurturing role early. That when I was 14 I was a surrogate mother to a little girl whose mother dropped her at our door when she was a few weeks old and disappeared [...]