From the category archives:

whiney mcwhinerson

Broke.

Last night I shattered.
I shattered into a million pieces.
I drank too much, and that was what was needed for me to break.
I felt the pain from a million injustices, real and imagined, bubble up from my toes and tighten my throat.
And then my body shuddered as the dam broke and it all violently spewed forth, [...]

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Interrupting the usual scheduled snarkiness: I need some advice.

I have always had a ‘project’ on the go.
Home improvement. Furniture building. Getting pregnant with a ‘blue’ one. Painting my nails a different colour every week.
All very noble pursuits.
However, although it has been a wild ride and quite entertaining, my current project of contracting weird and wonderful illnesses and collecting medications along the way and [...]

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FUCK FUCKITY FUCKNESS. save me. Send wine.

Right now my mother is here.
That’s right. MOTY.
She is cleaning and cooking and putting shit in places that they Just. Don’t. Go. People.
She is mopping the floors. The. Wrong. Way.
She is coming back tomorrow to clean the kids rooms.
My mother and I in close quarters for two days straight.
Save me.
(yes, I am thankful for the [...]

42 comments continue →

If you are reading this post then that means I am not dead.

So y’all (multiculturallyness again) know that I have been wielding my awesomeness all around the internetty acronyms.
I am a fucking coder or some shit now.
Totally.
But dude, when I was all ‘Photoshop has my arse in a sling’ that was nothing, nothing I tellz ya compared to the complete arse kicking I am getting from resynching [...]

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Glass half empty.

This has been a difficult year.
Christmas has been no different.
I could dwell on the negative. What I am missing.
My grandparents, the first Christmas without them.
Rudi still in ICU. MPS is leaving to see him tomorrow. For 4 days. Using the last of our savings, the money that was earmarked for shoes and chocolate bills and [...]

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Sad.

Why are you sad Kelley?
I dunno. I just am.
Is it this or this or this or this?
Nope. That is no different to yesterday, and yesterday I wasn’t sad.
Could it be the fact that you haven’t slept in days? Or perhaps that you were stupid enough to go clothes shopping and nothing would fit your fat [...]

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Thursday

I realise that some of you are reading and it is not even Thursday yet.
Or it could be Friday.
Or December.
Or like the year 2050. If so, do you guys have flying cars yet? That would be really cool, especially if you look like the Jetsons. Cause when I was a kid I totally wanted to [...]