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Things that make you want to hide in a cupboard

I thought I was hardcore. Turns out I am just a really fucking slow learner

Last night I was feeling all domestic and civilized and grown up and shit, so while I was making a FABULOUS dinner of deliciousness I cracked open a bottle of wine. At 5pm. I NEVER do that. Wine is to be savored AFTER dinner and as a prelude to mummy and daddy time* not during [...]

26 comments continue →

So watching all those fake labours on rom/coms and sit/coms totally paid off.

I didn’t go to ante natal classes. Well we went a few times but they were full of OLD PEOPLE with their judgey eyes especially when MPS had to work and my mother came with me. And WHAT THE FUCK there was no ‘breathe, breathe’ and the huffing and puffing like in the movies it [...]

24 comments continue →

Proof yet again that I am totally not photogenic. Awesomeness like mine obviously breaks cameras. And mirrors but that is another story.

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/gaga2.jpg

I have always hated pictures of myself. I never know how to pose or stand or smile. I don’t know my best angle or side or whatthefuckever. One of Too’s friends thought she was paying me a compliment when she said ‘You look so cute when you smile and your eyes go all like SQUINTY [...]

21 comments continue →

Lemons

So we live in the country but we live in town so technically it is like living in the city but we can see the stars at night and hear the neighbour fart in his bathroom. The best and worst. Today I bleached the kitchen sink and then got all the motherfucker stains off the [...]

25 comments continue →

Over the shoulder boulder holder.

Alternate title: Clearly I need to buy some new clothes cause the ones I have aren’t doing me no favours. As women, we go through many – some would call – humiliating experiences. Every two years some dude will stick a pair of kitchen tongs and an oversized cotton bud up our lady bits to [...]

20 comments continue →

Accidental overshare

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/@2.jpg

You know I am all about the overshare. I could link to a hundred posts where I have shared just a little bit more than I probably should. But that is the internet, not real life. An internet where unicorns and ninja and made up words reign supreme. In real life that is not the [...]

40 comments continue →

Tight.

At work, doing my shizzle and according to A of ‘Marcus’ fame, I was rocking some serious Audrey Hepburn moves with my black ensemble, flat shoes (*sob*) and hair slicked back into a high ponytail. Something I could do now, since the great hair lopping of 2010 and subsequent immediate loss of 10 kilos in [...]

22 comments continue →

Twitter is full of bullies. Bitches bullied me into this post and even MPS got in on the action.

So this morning I decided to try and tame my unruly curls instead of straightening them into submission. And stupidly I twittered it. And the bitches were all ‘show us’ ‘where are the pics?’ and ‘OMG let us see the hot mess that is your big fat head!’ Well maybe not the last one, but [...]

36 comments continue →

So there was this one time when Moo’s boyfriend saw me half naked.

Last night was Moo’s school formal. Of course she looked gorgeous and beautiful and all the things you would expect of a child with my genes of awesome. Bizarrely, MPS was supplying the doof doof – as per Moo’s request, I believe her exact words were ‘Dad you are totally DJing the formal cause last [...]

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Today I totally rocked. Until I didn’t.

I was rocking today. I had a cute little skirt, one of my favourite shirts, freaking kick arse red heels that matched my equally awesome coat. And dammit, even my umbrella matched. My awesomeness even astounded me… I kicked some serious arse, flying off emails and being awesome. Around 10.30am I went to the loo. [...]

61 comments continue →

← Previous Entries

Things that make you want to hide in a cupboard

I thought I was hardcore. Turns out I am just a really fucking slow learner

So watching all those fake labours on rom/coms and sit/coms totally paid off.

Proof yet again that I am totally not photogenic. Awesomeness like mine obviously breaks cameras. And mirrors but that is another story.

Lemons

Over the shoulder boulder holder.

Accidental overshare

Tight.

Twitter is full of bullies. Bitches bullied me into this post and even MPS got in on the action.

So there was this one time when Moo’s boyfriend saw me half naked.

Today I totally rocked. Until I didn’t.

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Things that make you want to hide in a cupboard

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search for more awesomeness

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archival awesomeness

awesomeness tied up neatly