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Things that make you go hmmmmm

It’s all fun and games until someone loses their mind.

Funny shit. Now imagine you are in the kitchen baking five hundred cakes for a family get together and your 20 year old daughter walks into the kitchen and shows that to you on her phone. Still funny shit. Now imagine you are in the kitchen covered in flour cause you are baking cakes for [...]

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The one where you should go with your gut instinct. You know when your mind is all WTF? but you do it anyway?

So I went to the beautician today to get my eyebrows done because I am lazy and blind and lacking depth perception and there are only so many times that you poke yourself in the eye with sharp tweezers or pluck a hole in the middle before you cry uncle and slap down the 12 [...]

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she waits.

Every day she waits for me. Ironically, this woman – I am assuming mother of a student but she only talks of her 23 year old – waits outside the office where I collect Boo from the mainstream school. I say ironically as she has from what I can gather, for want of a better term, [...]

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Sickness suits him. Alternate title: Why I should keep my stupid whore mouth shut.

Email exchange with MPS yesterday at work: Happy Valentines Day! Yeah, ta, you too (that is me, I am like SO ROMANTICAL AND STUFF MOTHERBITCHES) Hey guess what? Moo might be coming home tomorrow for a visit! This is like the BEST WEEK EVER, HUZZAH! {this is the abridged version of the exchange. There were [...]

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I told a workmate today that we are watching all 5 seasons of Dexter during January – we are coining it ‘The Summer of Dexter’ – she asked if I was talking about the robot from Perfect Match. So I killed her. Dexter would be proud.

Robot from 80′s Dating Show Perfect Match v’s Sexiest Serial Killer of all time… She totally brought it on herself. And yes, I am a tad obsessed. Rate this post biatches.Awesome (0) Fabulous (0) WTF (0) Day-um (0) Suckage (0)

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Now I know they are fucking with me.

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/out-of-order2.jpg

Today is the first day of school holidays. It was also -3 when I left for work. And probably less when I dropped MPS off at the bus stop without a jacket. What? I am not his fucking mother. Pretty much the entire car park was covered in fog as I carefully made my way [...]

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Marcus.

Well it was the first day back at the salt mines office. Relatively painless, as work days go. Most of the fuckknuckles were still on holidays, managed to complete what I needed without having to actually speak to anyone on the phone, amusing IM conversations, went for a slow hobble to the coffee shop for [...]

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Boo’s last day. And the office Christmas party.

The Damn Emos have been home for like months already, but today Boo finished school for the year. I dropped him off this morning all wide eyed and confused cause the new teacher had already moved his shit into the classroom, so of course Boo was all What. The. Fuck. His aide and I took [...]

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In seven days.

In seven days it will be Moo’s birthday. The evening of her birthday in fact. We will probably go out to dinner and there will be cake and presents and all the usual ‘birthday’ stuff. But this birthday will be different. This is a HUGE birthday, both for her and for me. In seven days [...]

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reason number 486 of why I don’t smother him in his sleep.

I kid, I kid. Kinda. KIDDING. While I was standing in the kitchen making a kick arse tasty nutritious meal for my loving family *vomit* Boo was bouncing around the room insistent that I tell him if there is a full moon tonight. ‘I don’t know Boo, I am busy cooking. Go google it or [...]