From the category archives:

Things that make you go hmmmmm

Now I know they are fucking with me.

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/out-of-order2.jpg

Today is the first day of school holidays.
It was also -3 when I left for work.
And probably less when I dropped MPS off at the bus stop without a jacket. What? I am not his fucking mother.
Pretty much the entire car park was covered in fog as I carefully made my way to the door, [...]

15 comments continue →

Marcus.

Well it was the first day back at the salt mines office.

Relatively painless, as work days go. Most of the fuckknuckles were still on holidays, managed to complete what I needed without having to actually speak to anyone on the phone, amusing IM conversations, went for a slow hobble to the coffee shop for a [...]

44 comments continue →

Boo’s last day. And the office Christmas party.

The Damn Emos have been home for like months already, but today Boo finished school for the year.
I dropped him off this morning all wide eyed and confused cause the new teacher had already moved his shit into the classroom, so of course Boo was all What. The. Fuck. His aide and I took [...]

24 comments continue →

In seven days.

In seven days it will be Moo’s birthday.
The evening of her birthday in fact.
We will probably go out to dinner and there will be cake and presents and all the usual ‘birthday’ stuff.
But this birthday will be different.
This is a HUGE birthday, both for her and for me.
In seven days my baby, my first child, [...]

32 comments continue →

reason number 486 of why I don’t smother him in his sleep.

I kid, I kid.
Kinda.
KIDDING.
While I was standing in the kitchen making a kick arse tasty nutritious meal for my loving family *vomit* Boo was bouncing around the room insistent that I tell him if there is a full moon tonight.
‘I don’t know Boo, I am busy cooking. Go google it or something’
Still with the damn [...]

24 comments continue →

Smells like teen vomit

Moo has been complaining that when she comes into the house she gets an overwhelming stench of vomit.
Bile that is
stomach acid.
Texas tea.
What?
Anywho, stinky stench offending our nostrils worse than when we accidentally leave Boo’s door ajar when the window is open.
Holy Mother of God 10 year old boy urine just permeates EVERYTHING. And lets not [...]

30 comments continue →

It is always ominous when you get a phone call from the school…

So I was sitting here, all innocent twittering about the ENORMOUS spider that greeted me in the hallway this morning that MPS disposed of by flushing it down the toilet and I am too scared to go to either loo cause what if the fucker is like that puppy in the UK that the kid [...]

62 comments continue →

Be nice to your children. Cause one day they will be straightening your hair for you and you want to keep your ears. Trust me on that.

When The Damn Emos were little girls, pretty blonde things, looking at their mummy in awe and amazement, I would do their hair every morning.
Moo with her dead straight naturally highlighted hair, usually in two ponytails or plaits.
Too with her waist length ringlets in either a high pony, with cascading curls around her face or [...]