From the category archives:

things that irriate me

Batten down the hatches! Run for the hills! It’s MAN FLU!

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/tissues2.jpg

The Horror!
The Terror!
Oh the HUMANITY!
MPS has a cold MAN FLU!
As mere women whining about tiny insignificant things like period cramps, mittelschmerz, carrying a screaming toddler and a baby in a sling while pushing a shopping trolley full of groceries nursing a barely healed caesarean scar and oh, I dunno, wearing a RoboBoot with two numb [...]

39 comments continue →

…and when he stops vomiting I am gunna get him to pick the lottery numbers

I rarely get time alone nowdays.
Snippets of time, here and there to get my own personal freak on. Sans pants.
Today I PAID Moo to fuck the fuck off and she chose to go to her boyfriends house in the city. Let’s not think too deeply about that.
Did a little shopping and in the car driving [...]

23 comments continue →

Oh what a morning. Would have been way betterer if I was hungover after a night of partying.

This morning, after a night of hacking up a lung with The Sickness That Is Not Whooping Cough Anymore But Something Entirely Different But We Just Don’t Know What It Is So Suck It Up Princess And Reduce That Stress Already, my eyes flew open at 7.46am
Which is really 7.38am. Which I know immediately, [...]

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I am like, totally a pirate biatches. You know you want to be me.

So today I was sitting with some chick going through some shit that she should have fucking done MONTHS ago and patiently speaking to her in kindergarten English cause that is what you do with fuckers that just cannot understand simple instructions like ‘look at this, comment by this date’ and someone came over and [...]

26 comments continue →

Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya…

Last week we went on a ‘team building exercise’.
The senior managers go on this shit all the time. Sometimes it is to a flash hotel overlooking the city lights, others an island on the Whitsundays. On one of these junkets they decided that in order to lift moral they should throw a few shekels the [...]

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Adventures in babysitting

I was a good babysitter.
I didn’t get much of a chance to hone my mad skillz, unless you count the freakshow that used to live next door to us when we lived in the city who gave birth, asked us to help her name her child and then dumped her on our doorstep for 2 [...]

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Hi, how are you?

What is with people? I mean really. Fuck me dead they irritate me.
When you pass someone in the hall and say ‘Hi how are ya!’ it is meant as a greeting. Not a fucking invitation to dump all your sorry arsed woes on my fabulously shoed self.
Imagine me, at work, fabulously fabulousing.

I get up from [...]

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Do. Not. Want.

Today I was at the local shopping centre. Mall for you non-Aussies.
Wandering around with my Boo, clutching coffee for me and juice for the tiny terrorist. A lovely way to kill time till we had to go and pick up Moo and Too from the train station and ferry Too to Karate.
I was innocently holding [...]

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Help Help I’m melting!

Well it is eleventy hundred degrees. And I am cranky as shit cause of the sweaty breasticles thing. But I am melting in another way.
Ding Dong the witch is dead kinda melting.
I have lost my biatch on heels factor. Cause I am not able to wear said heels.
I usually strut around the [...]