From the category archives:

ramblings

Don’t breathe a word.

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It is hard.
Keeping this on the down low.
Keeping all the details to myself, not being able to just grab a stranger off the street and shake them and say FIX IT OMG PLEASE FIX THIS. Please.
My BBF came over yesterday and we talked about Boo’s arm and her kids and whether we might have been [...]

24 comments continue →

I am so tired I can barely string a sentence together. Refrigerator.

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I love my boy.
I love my boy.
I love my boy.
I love my boy.
But if the little fucker doesn’t start sleeping through the motherfucking night and doesn’t stop playing that stupid bloody clip of B.O.B. from Monsters vs Aliens ON LOOP I will have to sell him to the gypsies.
And not the cute pretty gypsies with [...]

37 comments continue →

It’s hard.

They tell you being a parent is hard.
The midnight feeds. The endless crying when you just want to scream WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?! I will give you anything EVERYTHING if you will just stop crying!
What you are never prepared for is when they become people. Individuals.
You.
Today I have an ache in my heart.
Something [...]

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A single bogan ranga atheist migrant woman from South Australia is now our Prime Minister. Break out the tracky pants and ugg boots people.

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HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS!
So last night I was innocently surfing for porn homemaking ideas when I flicked over to Twitter and saw it was going in-fucking-sane.
I stayed up late hitting refresh refresh refresh and flicking channels.
This morning speculation was rife. Will we have a female Prime Minister by the end of the day?
Will we become [...]

31 comments continue →

Par-tay!

Fuck me dead that last post was depressing.
There is a reason why the past is the fucking PAST isn’t there?
Anyway it is my birthday and lets celebrate! I have chucked sooky la la depressing Kelley in the corner with her letters and a block of chocolate and we shouldn’t hear from her for a [...]

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What I am giving up for Lent.

Apparently it is Lent. And people give shit up for Lent.
Isn’t that the whole point of Pancake Tuesday? You know using up the good stuff so you can lose a few kilos before gorging on chocolate that the bunny brings you can like, suffer. Like a good Catholic or somesuch.
Hang on [...]

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So what is it you do when you are not cleaning shit and toothpaste off the walls?

I work in an office.
Not gunna say what kind of office cause some freak might make me have to break out the terrorism/bomb threat leaflet that is supposed to be next to the phone but is somewhere in the bottom of the shredder somewhere…
Apparently some brainiac consultant feels it necessary for the first question to [...]

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Something to ponder….

I am not hungry.
Like seriously Not. Hungry.
I have dinner sitting here next to me and the thought of eating is making me feel, well, meh.
I barely ate anything last night for dinner. And that was the last time I ate anything.
No hunger pangs. No feeling woozy and sick from lack of food.
Just meh.
Today [...]

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Out, OUT damn Chocolate.

I have to go all Lady MacBeth on my ever expanding arse.
The chocolate in the fridge is calling me. Serenading me. Tantalizing me with its sweet chocolately goodness. It’s silky rich texture. Delicately caressing the inside of my mouth with it’s sweet velvety smoothness.
Melting slowly on my tongue as I gently suck [...]

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Weepy.

I am all weepy and sooky girly today.
No reason.
Just wanna cry.
Got to work this morning and S asked me what I have done with my hair today. It looks different, says he.
I take that as: ‘What the fuck is going on with that rats nest on your head woman! You are in [...]