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proof yet again that I shouldn’t be allowed on the internet unsupervised

Someone needs to market ’16 year old boys room deodoriser’ cause I will buy shares in that company. Shit, I will BUY the company and lick their feet.

Jesus wept Boo’s room stinks. Like seriously… Jesus, the Apostles, all the people with the fishes and the loaves and the temple fuckers that he kicked out when he did that awesome solo in Jesus Christ Superstar*, would be WEEPING from the stench that literally WALKS ITSELF out of his room each morning. I don’t let […]

14 comments continue →

It’s that time of the year again. The annual reminder to my husband that my birthday is nigh. This time I have a plan.

Today marks 3 weeks till my birthday. I know, because I went out to lunch with my BFF from highschool for HER birthday so it is 3 weeks until we do it again for mine. And then probably not again till next year. I don’t get out much. *violins* Last year I celebrated the 12 Days of […]

13 comments continue →

25 year hookupaversary

Twenty five years ago today MPS and I started seeing each other. Well, we kinda started seeing each other but not in that way a little earlier than that but it is all a little messy. You see I had a boyfriend. And he was a bit of a dick. And a whole lotta […]

9 comments continue →

STRAYA, bitches!

Now I don’t want to get into no motherfucking philosophical argument about invasion day or other some such right now, OK? I understand that there are some of you that have your panties in a wad about such things and I am usually all up in these grills with you all in these kinda things […]

18 comments continue →

if it wasn’t for the half priced mexican and Maddie cuddles I would have had a complete breakdown. 100% money back guarantee.

Never underestimate the calming influence of guacamole, melted cheese and my adorable blue haired girl. It all started Tuesday morning when I was leaning over the bathroom sink, muttering profanities at the plughole while performing one of the four nasal douches that I have to endure per day after the most miserable operation of all […]

21 comments continue →

Ranty pants 3: Manners

Motherfucking manners. Common fucking decency. Seems few display these simple courtesies any more. Exhibit one. Tradies. I spent all day Wednesday waiting for a tradie who called me the day before desperate to fit me in asap. So we agreed on 9.30am. Fucker never turned up. Didn’t even call. Thankfully I had Ladies of London* to […]

16 comments continue →

Ranty pants 2: Bitch is on a roll…

It seems I am really really pissed off this week… I have a referral to see an ENT surgeon in a couple of weeks. For convenience the GP didn’t write that I have fibromyalgia ‘in case he doesn’t believe in it’ So he put down that I have high blood pressure and cholesterol instead. WHAT […]

15 comments continue →

Apology

Sorry I haven’t been blogging much. Sorry I haven’t been visiting yours. Sorry I haven’t replied to comments on my blog. Comments that deserve reply. Sorry I said something on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram when obviously I should have been commenting on your blog. Sorry I have been lurking on your blog on my ipad from bed and […]

33 comments continue →

You want a soft pant? Bitches, I will give you a soft pant.

Today I bought some jeggings. Yes. You heard right… leggings that pretend to be jeans. And I bought them on PURPOSE. Not by accident. Like last time. Shutup. As I am nearing my doddering old age I am becoming more and more donotgiveafuck and Iwantclothesthatfeellikepjs. Unlike in my 20’s when I was all about suckitinandstickoutthegoodbits. […]

15 comments continue →

Wanna hear something gross?

I only wash my hair once a week. Whether it needs it or not. For a long time I washed my hair every couple of days, battling with the dryer and the straightener, and pretty much using precious hours that I could be sleeping or watching The Real Housewives of All The Places. Or stalking […]

42 comments continue →

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proof yet again that I shouldn’t be allowed on the internet unsupervised

Someone needs to market ’16 year old boys room deodoriser’ cause I will buy shares in that company. Shit, I will BUY the company and lick their feet.

It’s that time of the year again. The annual reminder to my husband that my birthday is nigh. This time I have a plan.

25 year hookupaversary

STRAYA, bitches!

if it wasn’t for the half priced mexican and Maddie cuddles I would have had a complete breakdown. 100% money back guarantee.

Ranty pants 3: Manners

Ranty pants 2: Bitch is on a roll…

Apology

You want a soft pant? Bitches, I will give you a soft pant.

Wanna hear something gross?

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