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proof yet again that I shouldn’t be allowed on the internet unsupervised

It’s that time of the year again. The annual reminder to my husband that my birthday is nigh. This time I have a plan.

Today marks 3 weeks till my birthday. I know, because I went out to lunch with my BFF from highschool for HER birthday so it is 3 weeks until we do it again for mine. And then probably not again till next year.  I don’t get out much. *violins* Last year I celebrated the 12 Days of […]

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25 year hookupaversary

  Twenty five years ago today MPS and I started seeing each other. Well, we kinda started seeing each other but not in that way a little earlier than that but it is all a little messy. You see I had a boyfriend.  And he was a bit of a dick. And a whole lotta […]

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STRAYA, bitches!

Now I don’t want to get into no motherfucking philosophical argument about invasion day or other some such right now, OK? I understand that there are some of you that have your panties in a wad about such things and I am usually all up in these grills with you all in these kinda things […]

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if it wasn’t for the half priced mexican and Maddie cuddles I would have had a complete breakdown. 100% money back guarantee.

Never underestimate the calming influence of guacamole, melted cheese and my adorable blue haired girl. It all started Tuesday morning when I was leaning over the bathroom sink, muttering profanities at the plughole while performing one of the four nasal douches that I have to endure per day after the most miserable operation of all […]

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Ranty pants 3: Manners

Motherfucking manners. Common fucking decency. Seems few display these simple courtesies any more. Exhibit one.  Tradies. I spent all day Wednesday waiting for a tradie who called me the day before desperate to fit me in asap.  So we agreed on 9.30am. Fucker never turned up.  Didn’t even call. Thankfully I had Ladies of London* to […]

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Ranty pants 2: Bitch is on a roll…

It seems I am really really pissed off this week… I have a referral to see an ENT surgeon in a couple of weeks. For convenience the GP didn’t write that I have fibromyalgia ‘in case he doesn’t believe in it’ So he put down that I have high blood pressure and cholesterol instead. WHAT […]

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Apology

Sorry I haven’t been blogging much. Sorry I haven’t been visiting yours. Sorry I haven’t replied to comments on my blog. Comments that deserve reply. Sorry I said something on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram when obviously I should have been commenting on your blog. Sorry I have been lurking on your blog on my ipad from bed and […]

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You want a soft pant? Bitches, I will give you a soft pant.

Today I bought some jeggings. Yes.  You heard right… leggings that pretend to be jeans. And I bought them on PURPOSE.  Not by accident.  Like last time. Shutup. As I am nearing my doddering old age I am becoming more and more donotgiveafuck and Iwantclothesthatfeellikepjs.  Unlike in my 20’s when I was all about suckitinandstickoutthegoodbits. […]

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Wanna hear something gross?

I only wash my hair once a week. Whether it needs it or not. For a long time I washed my hair every couple of days, battling with the dryer and the straightener, and pretty much using precious hours that I could be sleeping or watching The Real Housewives of All The Places. Or stalking […]

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Lost

Today I just feel lost. I feel like I am screaming out for help and the words are caught, twisted and come out all wrong. And I sit there confused and confuddled and the world just pats me on the head and tells me I am being silly. Pain is with me always. Somewhere, always, […]

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