From the category archives:

moments in mothering

Letting go

It goes so fast, the old lady said to me. Moo cooing in her pram, pretty in pink.
Treasure every moment, she said with a faraway look in her eye.
I humoured her with a smile and a nod and went on my way, so much to do before naptime, the only time of the day I [...]

43 comments continue →

Her future sits in a white envelope on the dining table.

Only a small percentage of you will know what this envelope means.
How this tiny piece of paper can change Moo’s life.
It is her VCE results.
*commence nail biting here*
(explanation for those not living in Victoria Australia. Simply put, here the final year of highschool is split into 2 years. Courses into units 1&2 (year 11) and [...]

59 comments continue →

Noooooooo!!!!!!! sob

Boo doesn’t want a Birthday Cake.
Those of you that have known me for a while will know I am all about the birthday cake. And just in the last week I have discovered fondant.
And my heart sang. Cause dude, that shit is GLUTEN FREE and MILK FREE and fuck me dead has no artificial shit [...]

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Dinner and the Awesome Mummy

The part of Awesome Mummy will be played by me – of course.

The part of the Loving Children will be played by the Damn Emos and the Tiny Terrorist

The part of Loving Husband will be played by that great lump of bastard lounging on the lounge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So the Awesome Mummy asks her loving children what they [...]

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Green is the word, the word that you heard.

She finally did it.
After months of umming and ahhing and apathy, Moo finally coloured her hair green.
Yes. You read right. Green.
Well apparently it is aqua… fuck that, it is GREEN.
Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the colour green. It is part of my blog colour scheme, my favourite Clinker and my favourite BAG and [...]

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Don’t breathe on me.

I think I am a pretty good mum.
My kids beg to differ. Especially when they are sick.
I have a very low tolerance for sickness. You will get a bit of sympathy, maybe a hug, but if it drags on longer than a couple hours I am over it. Totally.
I am all ‘What? Go to bed [...]

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I ain’t got no more kidneys to sell…

So on Monday I sold a kidney to send something to my rockin’ babe Redneck Mommy.
This morning I sold the other one to HALF FILL my car with crack cocaine. Cause that shit is cheaper than that black gold, Texas tea, people.
And apparently you only have two of those babies, so I am planning on [...]

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Where is my union rep?

I mean, for fuck sakes there has to be someone out there that will help me negotiate with these slobs that keep turning up in this house and calling me ‘Mummy’ and ‘Honey’ and ‘Where is my????’
I have Boo home from school. I have eleventy hundred phone calls to make and spreadsheet thingies to do [...]

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Moo is a princess.

And has TWENTY tiara’s to prove it.
Yes, my lovelies, we found 20 tiara’s stashed in that hell hole.
This morning I was woken by Boo telling me that it is the 19th day of April.
‘What the fuck to I care? Really Boo? That is nice, now mummy needs more sleep’
‘Yes. Today we go to [...]

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The biatch is going DOWN!

I love my daughter.
She is a gorgeous, funny, sassy 16 year old chick.
But fuck me dead she is a dirty slob.
Tomorrow her new bed arrives. A bed that MOTY bought her. A bed she picked that is PERFECT and GORGEOUS and TO DIE FOR.
A. Two. Thousand. Dollar. Bed.
I don’t think my mother bought [...]