So, dear readers, do YOU fling poo at your friends when you are high on acid?

Apparently friends don’t like it when you throw poo at them. Apparently I was not the only one that didn’t know that. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

30 litres of jelly.

6 containers of cream whipped to optimal throwing consistency.

40+ kids.

Numerous rainstorms.

200 water balloons.

One hose.

Metric shit ton of food shaped like legos including chocolates, gummies AND PIZZA.

Bitchy 12 year old girls sprung being fucking bitchy 12 year old girls and water bombed by women that used to be or knew bitchy 12 year old girls.

700 photos to sort through of party goodness and epic food and water fights.

$270 CASH to go and buy a fuck ton of Lego.

Feet screaming in pain from standing in the kitchen for a week.

Pizza for dinner.

Everyone passed out on the couch by 8pm.

And THAT is how you throw a 13 year old’s birthday bitches.

HUZZAH!

Lego par-tay bitches. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

Faceless Lego man.

Faceless lego man with a badonkadonk.

Whip a black wig on that motherbitch and we have a Kardashian bitches.

Klassy Kardashian.

{I still have some work on him but if you want another foul mouthed tutorial let me know.}

What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? Alternative title: the unknown Kardashian is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

HUZZAH!

So I went out and spent it ALL ON ME and bought a latte and a banana.

Cause I am selfish like that

Now onto the awesome:

Suri’s Burn Book. {thanks Kim for the heads up}  O.M.G. you guys!

This one… I can’t believe a wealthy person paid money for those shorts.

‘Everyone knows I only carry my Little Mermaid bag ironically:

I die.

This:

Heh.

This skirt:

LOVE LOVE LOVE… now I just need the bag.

Dry motherfucking shampoo!

I know I am late on the bandwagon here, but I tried it years ago and it looked like I had been attacked by a flour bomb.  But now I am in LOVE. Why didn’t anyone tell me this shit would work?  Fuck. I got an extra 2 days outta mah blow job *snigger* and you KNOW that has gotta be good for my hairs. {I don’t particularly like the scent of the Fudge one, anyone know of one that works well but smells awesome?  Like fruit salad or fresh cookies or brownies with icecream and fresh strawberries… I think I may be hungry…}

this?

I laughed till I farted.  Boo was not impressed.  But at least I got a kiss out of it.

Disclaimer: I was not paid in goods or cash or babies with pantaloons full of excrement.  I just like this shit.

Technically I WAS paid by winning the lottery but considering the ticket cost more than the winnings I am pretty sure that doesn’t count.  And my auntie bought me the ticket so if you have an issue best you be taking it up with her.  She is a diabetic and will stab you with a dirty needle.*

*she probably wouldn’t.  But do you want to take the chance?  Well, do ya? Punk?

I won the lottery! And other random awesome. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

‘Paris Hilton doll for you!  Because your heart are thirsting for wishness to be like Paris.  She without Talent but famously anyway’

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

{source}

Everything about this makes me smile.

I want this doll.

And her happy time Crabby.

I spent an hour trying to find a title for this post and just gave up. Because there is just no easy way to introduce a crotch crabs. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

Moo is home for the night.

Right now she is shopping for bits for her costume and then in a few hours a horde of screaming 19 and 20 year old WOMEN will descend upon my house dressed as school girls.

No, it is not a Playboy shoot in my loungeroom.  The final Harry Potter movie screens at 12.01am.

And as is the tradition, Moo and her friends dress up as characters from the movie and go to the midnight screening.

This year they have had to make the trek from the city to keep up with this tradition at our local cinema.

And no fucker brought me macarons.

Therefore I will NOT be quiet in the morning while getting ready for work with bodies sprawled all over my house after they return all teary eyed and probably drunk at 2am.

An end of an era.

So instead of getting all melancholy and sooky la la I will go totally motherfucking inappropriate.

Heh heh heh.

In honour of the final Harry Potter movie opening in Australia tonight. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

stolen from here

I totally think this guy is named Mr Darcy.

If a this doesn’t make you laugh till you fart then you are totally dead. OR my laughometre needs re-calibrating. In that case I better close my etsy store cause no one wants to buy a defective laughometre even if it does have a baby with a moustache on it. Dammit, I totally ruined the surprise of the post and now you wont be clicking over to earn me well, pretty much fuck all. Send cash. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

I have always loved Grover.

He is like the thinking womans monster.

Not all cutesy like that little fucker Elmo.  With all his talking in the third person shit and giggling at NOTHING.

I just wanna punch him in the neck.

I even have a Super Grover on my desk at work.

Because he is awesome.

And now, even more awesomer.

I have a soft spot for a blue furry monster in a bath towel. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

stolen from here

Me, simple but stylish floor length wooden blinds.

If it was fucking vampires I would be SET.

How about you?

I am pretty much screwed. is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!

While I tend to shit that I would rather not have to fucking deal with, I am reposting random drivel from the past.  This one makes me smile because while Boo’s room has had a complete makeover, it pretty much looks the same five minutes after I have cleaned it and I am always reminded of this song.

So, take it away Kelley of the Past before you developed that motherfucking potty mouth…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is what greeted me this morning.

He had the stealth ninja moves goin’ on BIG TIME to do this sorta destruction so quietly.

1st photo: After ramming the door open this is what was on the floor. His bookshelf is behind the door. Really need to go through his books… Under the door of the wardrobe is a yellow laminated schedule for school. The rest of them are ripped to shreds. And STICKERS ON THE WALL!!! Where did the stickers come from?????

2nd photo: Bedding on the floor and the blow up mattress (my bed too many nights than I care to think about) on his bed.. It makes it bouncier! The green lounge where I sit most nights waiting for him to sleep and where I write most of my insanity. You can’t see in the photo but the seat cover is ripped now. The drawers opened and emptied…

The room was freaking SPOTLESS when the little turd went to sleep.

Together this morning while I was supervising him in the bath, we sang our own version of his current obsessional song – Bohemian Rhapsody.

Boo in blue, me in red (rather appropriate doncha think!) together in black

I see a big mess in Boo’s bedroom,
No you don’t No you don’t will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening mum-
Mummy angry, Mummy Angry
Mummy angry, Mummy Angry
Mummy angry, figaro-magnifico-
But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
He’s just a poor boy with a trashed bedroom-
Spare him his life from this ang-ry Mummeeeeee-
Easy come easy go-,will you tidy up-
Bismillah! no-,I will not clean my room-
Bismillah! I will not clean my room-clean your room!
Bismillah! I will not clean my room-clean your room!
I will not clean my room-clean your room!
I will not clean my room-clean your room!
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia clean my room-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

Now if we could go through life like a musical, my boy would be KING! I expect he will have all the kids lined up at school teaching them this today.

Will you do the Fandango? is a post from: MagnetoBoldToo!