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On the occasion of your 18th birthday.

Dearest Rav, You have been an integral part of our family for almost 18 years. Your previous owner, an awesome rep from MPS’s station who used to bring me bread from a bakery 2 hours away whenever he was in town cause I said I liked it, sadly passed away in his sleep (‘dead in [...]

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Happy Motherfucking Birthday to meeeeee!

Cake I should have had if I wasn’t so fucking lazy {AND HOT! OMG IT IS HOTTER THAN SATANS ARSECRACK UP IN HERE} to bake a cake.  Or if I, you know, liked cake and shit. Container I SHALL be drinking my celebratory {virgin} margaritas in while at work just to make the day a [...]

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Happy Hookingupaversary

{source}   Twenty three years ago today my boyfriend moved to Queensland. Twenty three years ago today I was waving him goodbye after a tear filled sendoff. Twenty three years and a few minutes later ago today I jumped into MPS’s car after saying goodbye to my moving to Queensland boyfriend. Twenty TWO years ago [...]

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Happy Australia Long Weekend.

Cause that is how we roll, motherfuckers.  Celebrate one day over a three day weekend. Three days to celebrate people our great country, avoid the Slabs Of Bogans (the official MB2 term for groups of bogans congregating on sides of roads wearing variations of the flag on their person while the overheating Commodore cools down) [...]

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thank fuck that is over…

A quick post to say Happy New Year to all my biatches, just before I leave for an impromptu night away to celebrate our wedding anniversary and the beginning of The Best Year Ever. Cause fuck me dead I deserve one. I will leave you with my favouritist thing of the entire year that never [...]

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Foul Mouthed Tutorials: Back to school ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE cookies.

And when I say ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE I mean I emptied out my entire stash of white, milk, dark and caramel chips for these bitches. And it was soooooo worth it. So first, after you have stopped rejoicing that Lunchtime with Smosh and Thriller is no longer running on loop, there is complete wonderful [...]

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MPS and I are the complete opposite. And if I caught him peeing in the sink I would totally punch him in the gonads. AFTER he had stopped peeing. Obviously.

  I can only pee when my audience is under 18 months old. And that is only under duress. MPS on the other hand will HOLD A FUCKING CONVERSATION while he is taking a shit. On the phone. (he is talking on the phone and sitting on the toilet, not actually shitting ON the phone. [...]

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cakes, ipads and earthquakes

Yesterday was a big day in Chez Magnetobold. We threw out the remnants of Ally’s 21st cake: Gave an old man with a hot YOUNG wife this: Lunched at tapas: And then demolished this deconstructed Ferrero Rocher cake (recipe and foul mouthed tutorial to come): This is what it looked like after I motorboated it. [...]

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And now all I want is a Big Mac

But trauma always does that to me. What would you spend your $45 on? Best answer gets a unicorn testicle.

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Meet Newman

He arrived with much anticipation. Chauffeured by a surly motherfucker with a chip on his shoulder and dirty fucking shoes. I hate him. I love him. We are going to spend a lot of time together, Newman and I, sweating and panting. This morning I dragged myself out of my warm cosy bed and on my [...]

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