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chronic as fuck

So APPARENTLY I imagined that I needed to go on that elimination diet or misinterpreted the big wad of handouts spelling out how to do it. Or something. Anywhoodle, somehow it is my fault and I am eating cheese again.

So on Thursday I went to see my fabbo Cardiologist and she was all ‘bitch please you look awful’ and I was ‘gurl, I know I feel like death on a bender…’ and explained to her that I had been on this elimination diet and I was falling apart. Literally. My face was breaking out. […]

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Stupid

Today I did something stupid. Monumentally, horrendously, earthshatteringly OMFG slap me around the head and yell at me for an hour stupid. I went for a walk. Not only did I go for a walk, I went for a walk with Boo and after I had eaten. A real fucking clusterfuck. My motives were somewhat […]

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Lady of leisure

Back in November (or was it September? I have no fucking idea, the days and months are all a blur now… I only know the seasons by which Real Housewives are on, and Atlanta just finished so that must mean this batshit crazy of the Juicy Giudice clan should be glamming up my screen soon!) […]

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Gobble gobble

There was some research released the other day that said something about if everyone that was overweight lost just 3 kilos their health would improve. I saw it on the news. Since the belly botox I have gained 3 kilos. I have been eating everything in sight. Sure, I can’t eat huge quantities, but OH MY […]

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Self care and waiting room floors

In the last week and a half I have been a motherfucking rockstar. Made ALL THE CALLS. And gone to all the appointments. Saw all of the floors of all of the waiting rooms. Dig if you will. Monday: Gastroenterologist dude. Check up after the botox. Waiting room full of pregnant women as he shares […]

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I went to hospital and all I got was a wrinkle free sphincter.

Well if that doesn’t bring all the freaks to my blog then nothing will. I thought I better slap up a blog post to let y’all know I am alive. Those of you that don’t follow me on Instagram that is. *side eye* I have been planning a HUGE post about my experience with Botox […]

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The lucky streak continues!

chillin’ in my fav cubicle no.6 Yesterday I was sent to hospital with a suspected heart attack. No, wait, hear me out. For the last couple of weeks I have had a steady chest pain with intermittent OMG WHY IS THIS PAIN TRYING TO KILL ME smattered with panic attacks and a touch of tingling […]

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New Year, new… well nothing really. Status Quo not maintained because one of them went and died on us. Yeah, I am still with the morbid post titles, what of it?

I didn’t do much on New Years Eve, our wedding anniversary. You? I spent most of the night watching movies – Bridget Jones Baby and Sausage Party – and a new to us TV series, Baskets (8/10 so far) and my head in a well situated cake cloche vomiting up some not so delicious the […]

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So I might be getting me some Botox for Christmas. But no where NEAR where I would be wanting to get it. And I am sure as shit none of the Real Housewives would be doing this at one of their parties.

So I went to see my gastro doc yesterday and he was all, so are the drugs working? And I was all *burst into tears* no. So he doubled the dose and told me to take them more often and then took my work details and promised to email them to tell them to back […]

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Grumpy is as grumpy does. I think that is how the saying goes.

You guise, I am a wreck. We are on week whatthefuckever of laying on the couch watching tv and pausing it intermittently because I can’t follow the storyline and it is MOTHERFUCKING REAL HOUSEWIVES THERE IS NO DAMN STORYLINE so you see how bad things are getting ’round ‘ere. I am trawling pinterest for tasty […]

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