From the category archives:

a mind is a terrible thing to waste

Having some issss-yous.

When Boo is frustrated he calls out ‘Help! I am having an issue’
Which he totally pronounces ‘isssss-yous’ and cracks my shit up every time.
Cause he sounds just like Kath, from Kath and Kim.
Well, my lovelies, ‘Help! I am having some isssss-yous!’
Firstly, my blog is continuing to come up as malware for some of you. Apparently [...]

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Clearly I am not thinking clearly.

So Boo continues to display his displeasure at, well, EVERYFUCKINGTHING by whipping out his boy bits and urinating on the carpet.
As you do.
Last night he called MPS in his room with the rouse ‘I need a little help here!’ and MPS returned to inform me that Boo had removed his bandage around his half cast [...]

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Today I nearly got hit by an aeroplane.

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/samuel2.jpg

Yes, Samuel, a motherfucking PLANE.
I was driving along, music up loud for some desperately needed sing really sad songs really damn loud therapy, the back roads to the hospital to pick up Boo’s Xrays that they FINALLY found after his surgery last week.
When out of the corner of my eye I saw an aeroplane.
No biggie, [...]

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A girl walks into a bar… stop me if you have heard this one before.

A girl walks into a bar. When by ‘girl’ I mean a fucking awesome woman rocking her old lady shoes and making old lady shoes the ‘new black’ and ‘bar’ is the new whiz bang fandangled coffee machine that has just been installed at our office with REAL COFFEE BEANS GROUND TO ORDER and you [...]

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Choose your words carefully, as the universe is listening.

After a restless nights sleep – the kind where you get into bed, realise that you have to be up mere hours later and then spend the rest of the night tossing and turning screaming at your brain to go to fucking sleep already because you have to be up in 5 hours/3 hours/2 hours/45 [...]

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Of broken blogs, cakes that kill, ninja, pirates and a sexy man wearing a towel and an eyepatch.

No doubt you have seen my last post where I told the tale of awesome skillz and dexterity that brought a sad little hacker to his bony little knees and I emerged triumphant after an inconvenience more inconvenienceable than finding a large blind pimple on your arse just minutes before boarding a bus for a [...]

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Even respected journos read my blog. But won’t admit it.

Yesterday, my lovely girl Ro gave me the heads up that I was quoted in the HeraldSun newspaper.
Like THE freaking paper read by bajillions all over our great state of Victoria.
An article about our new Prime Minister being lauded as the first Bogan Prime Minister, quoting MY POST.
From the article:

As one blogger put it.
One BLOGGER?
DO [...]

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Discussion with my brain.

http://magnetoboldtoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/brain2.jpg

Ever since the stroke my memory sucks.
I used to pride myself on my ability to remember EVERY GODDAMN THING and run my house with military precision.
Boo had a million appointments all categorised in my head, never needing a diary or a calendar or reminder emails. ( I love you Google Calendar)
I knew where everyone needed [...]

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Ten minutes of shit I wanted to Twitter but Twitter was broken. Or hates me. Or is a douche canoe.

Boo is in the kitchen playing in the sink singing ‘500 miles’ All together now… da di dada DA DI DADA!
Now he is shouting ‘Elvis has left the building!’ While making a sandwich.
Real Estate just called and asked if the diswasher was in yet. I laughed so hard I think I punctured my spleen.
Kinda sick [...]

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How NOT to blog.

Apparently I am an expert at this.
Cause, given the advice from the experts, I should be getting hits in the negative numbers and pretty much blown up the internet by now.

I write posts on the fly. I get an idea in my head, quickly type it up while simultaneously checking Twitter, yelling at my children, [...]