Omg you guise I am losing the fucking plot here.
I have been sitting here, staring at these walls, for at least 6 months now probably longer I just don’t want to think about how long it has been and fuck it I am LONELY.
My only interaction of late is with doctors or Boo’s service providers.
My workmates have proven to be fucking arseholes, and my friends… well lets just say they are obviously sicker of me being sick than I am.
whatever. I don’t care.
*sobs quietly while giving the world the perfectly manicured finger*
So I thought about getting a dog, you know to keep me company but that is a minefield cause of Boo and Jesus Fuck where do you start finding a reputable breeder and a bank to rob to pay for one. And no, I don’t want a shelter dog because I am an arsehole.
(I have my heart set on a dachshund and and black toy poodle cross-with-something and I want to name them… is that too much to ask? My other dogs were always rescues and I never got to name or choose them – our last dog came with our house purchase (I shit you not) and she was a Jack Russell/dachshund/mutt fucking ugly thing but so sweet named Missy which sounded MUCH better with the lilting Irish accent of the previous home owners)
And then today I was out shopping for the first time in a week because I have been laid up with the bleeding arseholes, again, and in the pet shop I saw the most adorable birds and was all OMG YES I SHALL GET A BIRD! And it can sit on my shoulder and be all cute and talkative and shit. Of course my bubble was burst by the sales chick who basically explained if I wanted that kinda relationship with a bird I would need to go to a breeder and pay through my already bleeding arsehole and wait until breeding season in Spring.
So no bird for you.
So looks like I am going to stay lonely.
Or take up sewing voodoo dolls.
That sounds like fun. I will just guess your measurements…
Do you have any suggestions on a bird that could keep me company?
Dog breeders in Victoria that are reputable that won’t sell me a broken puppy the price of a small car?
Patterns for good voodoo dolls?