Peppermint scented Jesus Christ riding a sleigh pulled by geriatric reindeer I am just not feeling it this year.
You too?
I am TRYING. LORD Father Christmas I am trying.
I am drinking my Hydralyte out of a fucking CHRISTMAS MUG for the love of Rudolph.
Every ounce of energy I have is going into putting up four billion Christmas trees and squealing with joy in front of said Christmas trees (even Bathroom Tree™) and then going and having a little fucking nap after the exertion, and then Instagramming the ever loving shit out of them.
I mean HAVE YOU EVER?
Dig if you will… I have a fucking PRINCE Christmas tree.
(Shutup, I know he was a Jehovah’s Witness… but he wasn’t always… check out my avi’s all over social media he is rocking the santa suit. RIP my fabulousness)
Anywhoodle. Fucking Christmas AMIRIGHT? It is like NEXT FUCKING WEEK and I don’t even have my blog Christmas headers up, let alone freshened up my festive undergarments.
It is all going to hell.
You know what is even worse? I just went and handed the whole Christmas dinner shebang over to my mother. I was all ‘you do it. I am out. Fuck it. I am too fucking tired and I will be fucked if I am cooking that shit and not be able to eat it’ *mic drop, storm out* Or something like that.
And she has called me every damn day since complaining about it. So I probably should have not done that cause it would have been less fucking aggravation. Shit.
What was my point? Dunno. Christmas, I fucking LOVE CHRISTMAS and I am still not feeling it yet. That is it and I am PISSED about it. I guess that is my point. Imma go and decorate the Spa Xmas tree and see if that works.
Falalalala la fuckthisshit.
Got any suggestions on how I can get my Christmas groove back?
Are you in the fuckit camp this year?
OMG 2016 what have you done?
P.S. To try and get my Christmas spirit I am going to be spamming instagram with my trees and shit so I suggest you follow along in the sidebar over on the left or on actual insta or just stay off instagram for the next week or so if you are a total grinchface.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Your mother is some piece of work. You have caller ID? Just don’t answer the phone when she calls. Would improve my xmas spirit no end. 😀
I tried that once, I was eating dinner so I let it go to voice mail. She called the landline. Then my mobile. Then MPS’s. Then she texted me. Then she called again. Then she texted that she was coming over. So I fucking CALLED HER because apparently it was THAT damn important that she have my daughters address that fucking minute even though she was in the USA for a month and wouldn’t even receive anything she sent.
Oh, you are updating your address book. Okay then.
Wow. Just…wow.
Is it possible that she might be on the spectrum too? Although I think we are sometimes a bit quick to look at older people’s behaviour sometimes and think “hmmm, you probably would have been diagnosed in a different time…”, but ya know…!?!?!?
Chucking it in the fuckit bucket here. I’m hating Christmas. Kids have been fighting for four weeks straight from dawn to dusk. I’m cooking for family even though I’m the only one working up to Christmas. I’m trying to coord presents with the ex for the kids. Work sucks and I need the leave but scared I might not have a job to come back to.
PS Your tree looks lovely. Think I’ll belt out Purple rain (off key) instead of Christmas carols, will improve my mood.
sounds like my year last year. Girl, you need to get yourself to the bottle shop and get some of that chocolate baileys… tastes just like a chocolate milkshake only will calm your shit down. If only just a little bit. And then belt out the Prince tunes, I bet you will sound perfect.
x
Hey Kelley, those few words of kindness helped hold back the tears at work long enough to finish and get to medicinal Thai food and wine. An now a new person. Xo. Will try the choc baileys at the weekend. D.
oh sweetie, glad you got the Thai food and wine and trust me on the Baileys. There is a cherry one that apparently tastes like cherry ripe too. I swear it is the end of year just making every kid in the world into little arseholes, not just yours. All the love your way my lovely x
The Chocolate Baileys and the choc-cherry one are lovely drizzled over ice cream and strawberries, as is butterscotch schnapps.
Na – no Christmas spirit here – no grinch here either – just can’t be arsed !!!
When we have grandchildren – DEFINITELY – but for now the cat would probably rip anything we put up to shreds or knock everything over !!
ENJOY (and NEVER dis the photos – I LOVE the photos !!!)
xox
But the lights are SO PRETTY AND SPARKLY! Next year, next year I am going to go SO DAMN BIG it will make up for everyone.
I’ve found that just doing stuff for Christmas (the fun stuff, like decorating), gets you in the mood for it a little more.
maybe I should just drag my lazy arse into the spare room and open some damn boxes then.
Yeah, maybe later. Tomorrow maybe.
Darn! I know you love Christmas and was hoping decorating the trees and rooms would help you feel a bit better, even though you can’t eat the food.
Turkey is over rated anyway.
Christmas isn’t happening here either. I have a five inch glass tree on the shelf above the TV and that’s it.
I love turkey when it is done well, maybe cause we only ever eat it at Christmas. And the CHERRIES OMG I am going to miss them.
Never mind. I shall find my mojo, hopefully. The glass tree sounds sweet and I hope Angel doesn’t discover it.
He doesn’t jump up there, (not onto the kitchen bench either Yay!), in winter he gets up behind the TV where its warm, but he ignores the surrounding shelves.
Kind of feeling it here, just taken on too much work and not enough play – hence why I’m working at 9.15pm and not drinking! Love me some trees, keep up the spam x
Had a toothache situation begin last week. This about sums up how I’m feeling. I am also avoiding doing anything too quickly to fix it… But life provides. So a child has an appointment and I drag myself to the receptionist to tell them my plight and now I need to call the endodontist to ask them to poke around. Slowly getting through it and the holiday cheer as well… Seeing the light. Decorations up, planning dinner, finding relief.
… Love the trees and yayyy to you for delegating dinner!!
I cannot wait for the break. In fact I kind of feel like I’m already in it which is funny. And I will adore the time off because this year has been so busy. BTW love your Prince Christmas tree. I wish I had thought of that!