Peppermint scented Jesus Christ riding a sleigh pulled by geriatric reindeer I am just not feeling it this year.
I am TRYING. LORD Father Christmas I am trying.
I am drinking my Hydralyte out of a fucking CHRISTMAS MUG for the love of Rudolph.
Every ounce of energy I have is going into putting up four billion Christmas trees and squealing with joy in front of said Christmas trees (even Bathroom Tree™) and then going and having a little fucking nap after the exertion, and then Instagramming the ever loving shit out of them.
I mean HAVE YOU EVER?
Dig if you will… I have a fucking PRINCE Christmas tree.
(Shutup, I know he was a Jehovah’s Witness… but he wasn’t always… check out my avi’s all over social media he is rocking the santa suit. RIP my fabulousness)
Anywhoodle. Fucking Christmas AMIRIGHT? It is like NEXT FUCKING WEEK and I don’t even have my blog Christmas headers up, let alone freshened up my festive undergarments.
It is all going to hell.
You know what is even worse? I just went and handed the whole Christmas dinner shebang over to my mother. I was all ‘you do it. I am out. Fuck it. I am too fucking tired and I will be fucked if I am cooking that shit and not be able to eat it’ *mic drop, storm out* Or something like that.
And she has called me every damn day since complaining about it. So I probably should have not done that cause it would have been less fucking aggravation. Shit.
What was my point? Dunno. Christmas, I fucking LOVE CHRISTMAS and I am still not feeling it yet. That is it and I am PISSED about it. I guess that is my point. Imma go and decorate the Spa Xmas tree and see if that works.
Falalalala la fuckthisshit.
Got any suggestions on how I can get my Christmas groove back?
Are you in the fuckit camp this year?
OMG 2016 what have you done?
P.S. To try and get my Christmas spirit I am going to be spamming instagram with my trees and shit so I suggest you follow along in the sidebar over on the left or on actual insta or just stay off instagram for the next week or so if you are a total grinchface.