So I went to see my gastro doc yesterday and he was all, so are the drugs working? And I was all *burst into tears* no.
So he doubled the dose and told me to take them more often and then took my work details and promised to email them to tell them to back the fuck off and told me to come back in two weeks cause if this shit doesn’t work he is going to chuck some botox in my STOMACH and wont even save just a little tiny bit for a Christmas miracle for these worry grooves I am burrowing in my damn forehead.
And then if THAT shit don’t work I get myself a machine in my body that goes ping. Or as the cool kids call it a ‘gastric pacemaker’. I prefer the geek version.
Or none at fucking all.
Hoping the first option of the meds work. And I don’t get the lovely side effect of spontaneous lactation. But we have met and we all know that that shit WILL happen so I am totes googling breast milk icecream to serve for Christmas dessert.
But I can’t have any cause I am lactose intolerant.