OK, OK, I concede that I was stressed out of my motherfucking mind so I had a rather large panic attack.
AND Boo had a horrendous rash (which cleared up before camp thank fuck) and came home from camp with hayfever meaning he has slept for 3.4 seconds for the entire long weekend. ERGO so have I.
AND My mother accepted an earlier slot for knee surgery that just happened to coincide with my birthday.
AND I wasn’t able to eat very much because of Karl the Motherfucker.
AND I had the worst period in living memory.
BUT that is only FIVE things. Count them… one, two, three, four FIVE.
I had so many more wonderful things happen that I LOST COUNT.
We dropped Boo off at camp and went to Chadstone shopping centre where I bumped into a fellow blogger. OMG weird and awesome. I totally need to meet up with mah peeps IRL. Been too long. Imma do that. Who wants in?
MPS and I did a spot of shopping and I got me some…
goodness. Also fluffy socks and an adorable squeaky dachshund toy.
And MPS proved his love for me by falling up some escalators when I lost my shit and refused to get on them (loss of depth perception + PTSD + recent panic attack = hellz to the no step escalators) and he tried to run back up them cause apparently I looked like I was about to faint.
Thankfully there was a repair store for his finger nearby
It was actually really nice how many people stopped to make sure he was ok after he fell. GO FELLOW HUMANS! HUZZAH!
Then we scored a super deal at The Langham which smells like gorgeousness. Kicking myself I didn’t buy any of the room spray in the gift shop. Dammit.
needless to say I took the fucking lift.
Stripped off immediately and had a little lay down and ordered some room service and had my absolute favourite thing in the entire world…
creme brulee. MPS had lemon tart. IN THE AFTERNOON. DECADANCE BIATCHES!
Then we went for a little walk, MPS won us some riches on the pokies
And we came back and MPS massaged my feet while I rehydrated.
MORE room service (alas all I could eat were some chips, but they were fucking GOOD CHIPS, MPS had some amazing seafood thing and dumplings)
and then a SLEEP IN OMG!
And a trip to the National Gallery to see the Warhol and Ai WeiWei exhibition which was amazing. (so wish I had the energy to stay for the whole thing… and perhaps explore the rest of the Gallery)
(there were corners where there were balloons and you were encouraged to go in there and throw them around – gently. Every single one was full of men. And the attendants had to go in and keep telling them to play gently. I was discussing it with one of the attendants and she said that is what it is like all day. Fucking HILARIOUS. And, yes, one of those men is MPS.)
I got to eat pancakes on the way home, which were absolutely motherfucking glorious.
The next day we went to my favourite restaurant for lunch and had the most fabulous nutella donut on the planet OMG
SO worth the pain. SO FUCKING WORTH IT. And then picked up Boo from camp, swung by the hospital to visit mum and then picked up my birthday cake which I picked out purely because of its size.
If you can’t eat it, buy the biggest fucker in the shop I say.
The day of my birthday dawned and I was spoiled with chocolates from Boo, sparkly pretties from MPS and Audrey The Skipping Girl that I have been lusting after from Maddie and Steven. Fucking LOVE LOVE LOVE.
After taking Dad into the hospital to visit Mum I ended the day with nachos, a fuck tonne (for me) of guacamole and a spa.
And obviously I gifted the entire state of Victoria a long weekend. You are very welcome.
Now I have until Friday STILL off work and trying to recuperate from overdoing it by laying on my fat arse, drinking lots of fluids and catching up on All the Housewives of All the Places that I missed out on while I was galavanting around the place having a wonderful time and flipping the bird at The Universe.
And on that note, my final pic in this photo essay of awesome should go to Mr Ai WeiWei for obvious reasons.