Today is the last day of my month off work to sort my shit out.
And my shit is not sorted. And my shit is worse than ever. MY GOD WOMAN WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH YOU?!
Today I am sitting here with pain levels turned up to eleven
or nothing compared to anyone I dare to mention to because no one has heard of what I have/I am undiagnosed and therefore my pain is not real *picks up eyes that have rolled down the hallway and flicks the accumulated dust from lack of housework from faking pain from them*
I have managed to do a few things with my time off. Check it.
- Do the FODMAP elimination diet thingo and reintroduce a few foods like avocado (OMG OMG OMG *drool accumulates in bra*) cauliflower and thank the Lord Jesus riding a penny farthing while doing a handstand, GLUTEN THINGS! The FODMAP fuckery damn near killed me but at least I can tick that off my vomit bucket list and we shall never speak of it again.
- Chicken is not my friend. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL. Yep. Tried it many times and every time it takes me to spew town and then nausea for days.
- MANY MANY meetings with the schools to sort out some horrendous ‘misunderstandings’ that at one point nearly had me pulling Boo out of school and homeschooling. Fuck. That. Shit.
- Moved shit from the hallway cupboards so I could put shit from the bottom cupboards in the kitchen in there so I don’t pass out when I bend down. HUZZAH!
- Which sent me to buy a blood pressure monitor and discover that this reading on the regular is probably NOT a good thing.
- Saw my Rheumatologist and Gastroenterologist who are sending me for a fuck tonne of tests and to other ologists. But that won’t be within the time line so fuck it.
- Trialled a new drug… seems promising. Alas I didn’t get the awesome side effect of huge porn star boobs. Silver lining I didn’t lactate either.
- Went on a ‘hot date’ with my husband… but that is whole ‘nuther post.
- Spent a lot of time running around after my parents after MOTY got a knee replacement. Not so much good for me but OMG can you imagine how stressful it would have been if I had that on top of working as well? Silver linings all over the fucking place… tripping over the shit.
- Discovered these motherfuckers. OMG, LOVE
- Watched a lot of tv. Real Housewives of All of the Places, Downtown Abbey, Walking Dead, Portlandia, the damn blank screen when I wished
someone anyone would put me out of my miserydidn’t have anything better to do.
- Finally put this bit of gorgeousness up in the bathroom… Boo did it in Grade 4. Every day I find something else to laugh at about it. Fuck that kid makes me happy.
- STARTED CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. OMG so exciting. Fucking love Christmas.
So I guess it wasn’t a totally disaster. I have an enormous list of shit I wanted to get done and you know I wanted to be fucking CURED by now but meh. You can’t have everything and I have pretty much written this year off as a dud now anyway. So lets just focus on something positive for a change, hey?
ONLY 48 MORE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS! HUZZAH!