Come on guess.
Family of lemmings?
Picnicking family of lemmings wearing matching turtlenecks to stave off the autumnal chill?
Bagel covered in cream cheese?
You run out of guesses?
Surely you have guessed already.
Nothing. They found nothing.
Well I suppose TECHNICALLY they found something… you know… bits and pieces that you need to live and shit, but nothing that shouldn’t be there besides a bit of excess fluid and a bulky old fucking ovary that has been giving me grief since forever and a slightly bloated liver.
So Karl is still sniggering in the dark recesses of my fucking armpit (he is not in my armpit. I have no pain in my armpit. The only place I don’t fucking hurt it seems is my damn armpit) or some shit and now I have referrals to more doctors.
God knows I am.
So tomorrow I go and see a motherfucking NEUROLOGIST to chat about the nausea, brown outs and dizzy spells and other weird shizzlemahnizzle that I was whining about LAST YEAR and then on Monday I am wandering across the hall to see the specialist gastroenterologist to see if he has any fucking clue what is going on.
Cause GAH only knows Dr Google and I are at a fucking loss…
I might even get to drink some nuclear reactive shit or something apparently.
Then a referral to a fucking gyno to check out mah ovary, GP for bloods to see if I can reduce my stroke prevention meds to slim down my liver AND THEN just for the shits and giggles I am thinking a swami and then book myself in for a pedicure and an exorcism.
Just to cover all my bases.
The exorcism might get that crick out of my neck… that I was complaining about back in 2009 that started all this shit and NEVER DID GET LOOKED AT OMG.*
Anything I have left out?
* if you are new here I went to the doctor about a sore neck and shoulder got diagnosed with tendonitis and a ‘broken shoulder’ (whattheeverlovingfuck) by a doctor from Rocky and Bullwinkle and given strong painkillers
that caused a stroke and then had a stroke that was COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO THE HIGH DOSES OF PAIN MEDS THAT CAN CAUSE BRAIN BLEEDS and then the world went to shit from there… check the archives starting Feb 2009. It’s a ride. I suggest tequila shots. And donuts. Mmmmmm donuts…