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If there is a God I am pretty sure he fucking hates me. And I reckon that is pretty shit considering how well I celebrate his son Santa’s birthday.

by Kelley

in going to hell who is bringing the cheese?, I haz a sad

Today I was in the middle of baking cupcakes as a thank you morning tea for the teachers at the Special School (already sorted the mainstream school see here) in a BILLION DEGREE heat after a full fucking day at work and my motherfucking Kitchenaid blew up.

You know, just after my ratfucksonofabitch OVEN blew up.

THRICE.

At least I got some muffins made.

I am pretty sure they will forgive the store bought cupcakes and cake with those nuggets of gold nestled in there, right?

teacher present ss

(I wiped my tears and chucked on some clothes and IT STARTED TO FUCKING RAIN and went to Woolies and of course ran into people I haven’t seen in seventy five years – slight exaggeration – with emo mascara on my chin)

FML, seriously.

*shakes fist at the sky*

 

And before anyone gets their panties in a wad about me getting upset over a mixer, don’t worry there is waaaaaay more important horrible shit that I can’t blog about going on that I can blame some omnipotent dude for.  *peace fingers*

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 eccentricess December 16, 2014 at 9:15 pm

Did you stab that cake with those candy canes? Cos I am feeling both love for the teachers and anger in general from them? 😉

Reply

2 Kelley December 16, 2014 at 9:35 pm

it was a therapeutic artistic expression of my state of mind at the time.

Reply

3 Francine Dismorr December 16, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Reading between the lines, you have plenty of shit going on… but… your Kitchenaid blowing up… that is cause for major upset & “FML” time right there!!!

Those little glittery golden balls make up 100% for the store bought cupcakes 🙂 I can see the beautiful home-made ones in there too though.

Also… do you have cutlery decorating the little tree I can see beside the teachers cakes?? That is brilliant 🙂

Reply

4 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm

I am kinda a little obsessed with decorating Christmas trees, and I WILL get around to posting pics of the trees… eventually. So yeah… the trees on my dining table are decorated with tiny spoons and forks.

I hope the teachers liked the cakes, didn’t get to see anyone in the madness that is end of the year, so I trust that they were shared and not the office ladies just hid under their desk and scoffed the lot like I totally would have done.

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5 river December 17, 2014 at 6:52 am

Hey, now you can ask Santa for a new Kitchenaid! Mmm, new stuff. If your previous birthday posts are anything to go by, your Kitchenaid died happy, doing what it loves best.
The cake and muffin arrangement looks lovely and have I told you how much I love your table?

Reply

6 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:31 pm

Santa doesn’t bring kitchen appliances or he gets a punch in the nuts.

And thanks. I love my table too, except for when shit gets stuck in the groove bits and it is hard to get out.

Reply

7 Me December 17, 2014 at 9:50 am

As always – I wish I was closer. If I was a teacher at the school I would be so happy to see that at morning tea. You are amazing – even with a blown up kitchenaid and oven.
I hope Santa is good to you and replaces them at Christmas.
Lotsa hugs xox

Reply

8 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:33 pm

(most) teachers do such an amazing thankless job, a morning tea is such a small gesture really…

And as I said to River, if Santa buys me kitchen appliances for Christmas he will lose a testicle. True facts.

Reply

9 Lisa Mckenzie December 17, 2014 at 2:08 pm

I’m sure the gold bits totally make up for the homemade cupcakes it looks beautiful Kelley Xx

Reply

10 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:34 pm

sparkly things always make things better.

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11 Pinky Poinker December 17, 2014 at 2:14 pm

ratfucksonofabitch OVEN… Beautifully said. The muffin tray looks bloody awesome for what it’s worth x Hope things improve.

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12 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:35 pm

thanks sweetness… 2015 is only just around the corner and Boo promises me that it is going to be AWESOME.

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13 Anne December 17, 2014 at 3:52 pm

We lived w/o an oven almost all year. Made me appreciate baking a great deal more. Nothing is made well anymore. I’m so thinking that appliances are all ridiculously overpriced tin.

On the other hand, you have done a fair amount of baking and mixing. The kitchenaide might have just met it’s timeline. It’s ridiculously bad timing!

Salutes the appliances. Hope you get new and better ones!

Reply

14 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:38 pm

you are probably right, I have had the Kitchenaid for like 7 years or something and worked the shit outta the thing.

But my mum has had her Kenwood since before I was born and it is still going strong! She brought it over today for me to use to bake for Christmas… how KIND of her… heh.

Maybe this was the universes way of saying I need a Thermomix.

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15 Fiona December 18, 2014 at 1:55 pm

gah.

*hugs*

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16 Megan December 18, 2014 at 6:20 pm

There seems to be a fork in your tree.

Reply

17 Kelley December 19, 2014 at 6:40 pm

its another forking christmas tree!

Reply

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