Things are crazy busy here in MagnetoBold Land.
And when things get crazy busy here I tend to lose my words. Lets see if I can find some…
Centrelink are busting my chops cause Boo is so damn awesomely complex no one can find a nice little box to tick, so I am spending a lot of time on the phone and warming seats down there, commiserating with the staff when they look at me incredulously that I am even fucking THERE having to fill out more fucking forms, and that the government haven’t given me an order of Australia award for my contribution to Australia’s awesome quota.
I am just as shocked as them, I can assure you.
Then there is the kicking of arse of my lawn mowing guy, gently and tactfully because of course I have the only lawn care dude in the world that has lupus meaning he is allergic to the SUN, who kinda dropped off the face of the earth for 8 or 9 weeks causing my lawn to grow to jungle proportions and Boo to develop epic hayfever culminating in a week of SCREAM SNEEZING and hour long 2am showers. He finally turned up yesterday and promised to do another mow before Christmas. I told him 2am is fine cause Boo tends to shower then now anyway so we are up.
Fingers, toes and non vital organs crossed.
Boo is currently transitioning from junior school to senior school. Which is all fine and dandy but he is doing it at TWO SCHOOLS so in reality the kid is going to FOUR SCHOOLS AT ONCE. And to throw
a fly in the ointment a massive swarm of angry wasps into a vat of black molasses no fucker knows what the fuck they are doing and no one is communicating with anyone and OMG LETS ADVERTISE THE AIDES JOBS RIGHT NOW TOO AND NOT TELL THE KIDS OR THE MOTHERS UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE!!!!!! So we have been doing transition for the last 2 months and I have been telling Boo for the last 2 months that the chicks working with him are the chicks working with him next year and then I find out YESTERDAY that they might not be working with him at all. OMG. And lets not even get started on the other school. Who called me 3 times yesterday to calm Boo down because he feels they are not treating him like an young adult and ‘according to the constitution’.
A constitution he has yet to supply me with a copy of to prove his allegations.
Which brings me to the next point. Apparently my blood pressure is 140/80. My normal bp is 90/60. My endocrinologist thinks that is fine. Hmmmm.
I would think that blood racing around my body quicker than normal would burn more calories though so that would negate the extra takeaway we are eating because we DON’T HAVE AN OVEN and haven’t had one fucking forever and I have a freezer full of oven cook only foods. Fucking arsehole oven fixer guys (we are on our third) failed to turn up yesterday and are not returning calls and have all my oven bits.
Arseholes. I need to therapy bake. CHRISTMAS WILL NOT BAKE ITSELF!
All my trees are not up. It is December 4 and I do not have all of my Christmas trees up. I am fucking devastated. There is more than most small nations have up for the festive season just in my lounge room, but I didn’t get it all up before the start of December and it doesn’t look like it will be all up before the weekend either and I am absolutely gutted.
Fucking lack of depth perception, humid weather fatigue and poorly timed gastro AND a motherfucking summer cold felled me. *shakes fist at sky*
Work is not something I want to talk about. Yeah. That bad. At least I get to take my cold and gastro to work to share.
But it is paying the bills SO YAY TEAM! And means I can buy Christmas presents for my children so I am so very blessed, pity Boo has decided all he wants from the Fat Dude is random collectors items that are impossible to find that he hasn’t even spoken of in years, and a Vidalia Slice- It* that was last advertised by the late Billy Mays in 2008.
Again with the motherfucking Billy Mays… fucker has been dead for years, it is impossible to get the shizzle he used to hawk. We lucked out last year.
Jesus wept. But he can, cause it is his birthday…
Do your kids ask for weird shit?
Is it just as fucking manic at your place?
Will you come and finish decorating my trees for me so I can nap?
LOOK! CHRISTMAS HEADERS ARE UP!
* If anyone can find me one of these fuckers I will… um… like… be really fucking happy and give you money. WHY IS THIS KID SO FUCKING WEIRD?!